Today is just one of those days where everything seems gloomy and un-fixable.
Damn, even the music playing is depressing.
You know what days like these make me feel like doing?
It makes me wish that it would rain, so I can go sit in the rain and think about stuff. It's very therapeutic actually. Try it one day. Yeah, I know, a tad overdramatic, but still works.
I have many ways of getting over depression la. One would be the one mentioned above. Another one would be running. Seriously. When I run when I'm depressed, or torn about something, I run without noticing the distance. My thoughts would solely be concentrated on the problem bothering me, and at the end of the run, I would either have come up with a solution, or I would have run myself too ragged to even care about the problem.
Hahaha. But then, I can't really run now. What else. There's blood in my mucus and blood in my phelgm... Eew you might say...
Sometimes I lug my ass down to any Starbucks. Be it Novena, City Hall, Millennia Walk or even somewhere I've never been before. I go wherever my heart takes me. I sit my depressed self down at Starbucks, order a Cafe Latte, and just read a book. Somehow, being in a different place, just makes me feel better. Having the bustle of people around me, and knowing that however much I feel like I have no one, there are always people in the world, and I'm never truly alone.
Sometimes I bake. But the goods that I bake usually end up uneaten, so I lay off that these days. Anyone wants any delicious goodies baked chockfull of depression? Hahaha.
I wish Singapore was bigger. If only Singapore had rolls after rolls of green grass, and overwhelming beauty. If only it had natural scenery and beauty. I've always thought that nothing can ever be that bad if you can see beautiful things everyday. Nature always makes me feel better. Wherever I'm going, it will have natural awe inspiring scenery. And I will never be that sad again.
I suppose it's in everyone to have someone with them when they're faced with beauty. When you re under a marvelous expanse of stars, like how I often experienced when training outfield, you want someone there with you to admire it, and to share the swell of happiness that inadvertently comes when faced with such a sight.
I know what kind of a person I am. I think I forgot myself for a while back there. But I know I am an independent person. Now.
I don't understand how some people can be so bloody pessimistic. It's as if you're living a life taking everything good for granted! It makes no sense to me at all to whine and lament and honestly feel sad for your existence because the truth of the matter is, everything you get in life is brought upon by yourself. Especially when we are living in Singapore, there really isn't any chance for you to complain about how you never managed to make your life any better. Even with regard to intangible life choices - love begotten is dependent on your own outlook towards life and love! It makes no sense how anyone can wallow in their own misery because truth be told, there is no misery.
There are things to be thankful for everyday - I thank God for noodles, instant noodles (as opposed to being sad I don't have a good dinner whatsoever), I thank God for Joel (as opposed to being cowardly and refusing to take the water slides with me..), I thank God for my friends who came over yesterday despite their busy schedules and for the gifts I'd received. I've never been more blessed! And I thank God for YOU! as opposed to whining about anything because, I deserve what I get, and I am happy with what I deserve, and I get what I deserve for being happy! Yes, even as enlistment looms and threatens to doom. LOL
(And even if I didn't, there would be no reason to be unhappy or pessimistic)
It's not that I don't get sad. I get so sad too, I'm only human. And it's not that I've done anything that I've not regretted. But I get saddened by things worth getting saddened about. And I do regret some of the things I've done or said or thought but not having acted on them.. For being sad over life's little things that we can change, is disregarding everything else, saying everything else in your life don't mean squat.
but then again i reckon i might regret posting this, for i sincerely also believe that humans are innately fallible, but okay lah, fall due to the right things lah! GOODNIGHT! <3 EDIT: Mabel demands to have her name there too. I thank God for Mabel too; she has a sweet side to her that nobody knows about. Not even me. But by faith, I proclaim HAHAHAHA. There you go;)
I have absolutely no future in drawing but lately, I've been thinking about how Art relates to me. About how I use Art, can use Art, and why I believe in using Art to make sense of the world around us.
I spend so much time thinking and reveling in fantasy, escapism, and just feel empowered when there's energy in the air before it rains, when the sun's in transition.
The adrenaline awakens me when I sense that anything could happen. It's as though the world's surface is shrouded in a hyper epic reality that is indeed holistic existential reality; and not the droning course of reality that people believe they lead their lives in.
In the unpredictability of such surroundings, breathing environments of which the atmosphere we soak in, there is stability and reassurance that a greater divinity guardians our existence.
Disneyland, the worlds created within motion pictures of art, these are realities to me that are essentially an assertion and also a consequence of existence. The mundane office routine, the train rides that we take for granted; these negate our humanoid disposition.
Randomness as salvation and a rejection of such claustrophobic structure, the embracing of idiosyncrasies and feeling based, instinct driven harmonies in art, music, video, and literature. All these different things that accumulate into an understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
They set us in a particular direction, in hope that ultimately the answers to life's mysteries will be revealed to us, our purposes fulfilled, and what we have accomplished will have eternal significance.
I like to see the big picture, like a 3rd person point of view. Life seems interesting when you view it that way.. But I also believe that a balance is very important.. ultimately, you've got to remember to live.
Hmm.. Many a times when I write entries such as these, people will come by saying that they don’t get what I'm trying to say at all. Well, you don’t need to.. it's just my brain working overtime thinking of the many aspects in life that 'inspired' me to write.. But if you’re able to read between the lines and unravel the essential message I sought to convey.. I’d really think that you and I will be able to have a nice chit chat over lunch or dinner... at a mental institution. Anyway, I caught Knocked Up on HBO last night. There was this scene which made me laugh out loud; yes it's macabre but hey It's funny lor!
I've been feeling so uninspired lately thereby accounting for the lack of juicy updates. Heck, I've even toyed with the idea of deleting this blog entirely. Blogging is seen as an outlet of expression; though one can never be too careful on this cyber-realm we dub as the World Wide Web. Of late, there's been a dearth of plot and narrowness of imagination.
Yes, I find it difficult to express myself. Even in writing.
But 'dao', here it goes...
Everyone makes mistakes. One mistake. Two mistakes. Dozen mistakes. Today, Yesterday, Tomorrow. We all make mistakes. Every minute of our life we make decisions, some of which may turn out to be mistakes.
Sometimes we are told to learn from others' mistakes. But I firmly believe that we learn most from our own mistakes. So just go out there and make your own mistakes. You will definitely fall down, get hurt, cry, laugh, love, struggle, but you will always get back up, stronger.
Life is too short to stay down and feel regret for those mistakes. You just have to believe that everything happens for a reason. And if you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that life's going to be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. It’s not what you look like or what you have. But it’s the little things in life that make it all worth while..
Watching the sunset and the moon rise. Spending time doing crazy things with your friends. Moments where you spend those precious minutes with family. Random trips in the middle of the night. Taking a nice long walk. Dancing in the rain. Singing as if no one could hear you. Staying up all night with your best friend(s). Falling in love. Smiling. A hug. Conquering your biggest fear. Watching the waves crash into the sand. Spending a day shopping. Eating till your heart's content..
Life doesn't always give second chances, take the first one. Live it to the full (No such thing as Living life to the fullest; you would be committing a gross mistake if you did ;) ) with no regrets from yesterday. Maybe you will make your own mistakes but then you will never regret the things you learnt through the experience..
Just remember that you only get one shot.. One shot at this minute. One shot at this day. One shot at this age. One shot at life.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment, and take from it everything you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. So what does one mistake mean if you see the big picture?
I am a slave to my books. Its pages dictate my life.
I need to study. Really hard. The crunch is here. My stomach churns every time I realise how important my 'A' Levels are. It is really, the whole embodiment of my academic journey. Plus, having me wasted a year already, this counts even more and "You better not screw up after all these years ah!" just rings in my head constantly. I must admit that I have backslide throughout these last two years at school, I entered being really fiery about my studies and I set myself high standards. I guess it was through my performance in the first few months that I managed to get to Cambridge. It's ironic because I think Cambridge broke my momentum but I don't want to blame anything or anybody, it really does boil down to me anyway. However, I'm feeling the drive coming back to me. Can't wait for it to be over, then it'll be the Canadian ski trip and flying to Indonesia in Singapore colours to compete (I'm currently placed 6th in the Under-21 category, in S.E.A Hooray!) before enlistment. Okay, I'm not looking forward to army life. How regimented and mundane; I'm infamous for always getting into trouble with authority.
Right now, I hate being unoccupied because having nothing to do only causes me to think. Although I don't think as intensely as the previous times, it's still there and it tightens the immediate peripheral area surrounding my heart and making it constricted.
My heart can't beat the way it wants to. I have found myself trying to make myself happy lately, finding various ways to amuse myself. I have not done this in awhile, I've realized. This is because I had a constant source of ever flowing happiness, like a well dug into an artesian aquifer. At least, the happiness is on a hiatus.
I'm relieved, but what worries me, is that I would lose it. Losing it would cause the sky to go bleak, for birds to lose their bearings, to fall out of my sky and on to the pavement to serve as reminders. Reminders of how flight can be taken away from them like how everything else could be taken away from us if we're careless. I mustn't be careless; I must not let my guard down. I have constantly said and even promised to become a better person, to rectify my faults.
I must admit, I have said this on a whim, while looking for a quick solution. That's me- always looking for the quick fix-it and not looking at the real root. This time, I want to be committed to change; I can't make her angry anymore. I have got to be sensitive towards how other people feel. This is ridiculous; it's like pulling stones from out of mid air and just tripping over them after they fall onto the ground. I am creating my own problem. I am ridiculous and all these nonsense has got to stop. I have to be patient, for time is of the essence. Every minute that passes by, I hope has a remedying effect. Please Lord, I hope this time is not wasted and that I think really very hard, about the person I want to be.
Oh no, I've said too much. Just needed the reprieve.
"1..2..3..4..5!! Eh that piece of food dropped on the floor more than 5 seconds already, cannot eat..!"
I'm sure many have heard something like this before. Or maybe you are one of those preaching such a rule yourself, but perhaps changing it to the 7-second rule instead. 2 more seconds to grab that food bit; well done!
But is there any evident truth to it? (I've always thought its ridiculous) In this present day and age you would probably just Google "food 5-second rule". That's what I did (my utmost gratitude to the nerds who invented the Internet!), and I shockingly discovered that it is apparently true. In a study, food picked up E.coli bacteria only after 5 seconds.
So I guess the 5 seconds rule actually holds true.
However, think about this for a moment.. if food picks up E.coli from a clean and disinfected floor, then why not our plates and tables? And why not every other freaking surface on this planet? Why not from the atmosphere too while I'm at it? Have you just realized how redundant this rule is?
My advice to you is this, if you really want to eat something off the floor, just do it because you won't die from it and you'll satisfy your warped craving. While you're worrying about the E.coli on the floor, the E.coli on your plate is rolling all over your food.
If you are really afraid of 5 more seconds of E.coli, you might as well stop eating. Then you'd die looking like Lindsay Lohan.. and that's a lot worse than food poisoning.
Since I'm onto food here, let me recount this experience I had while I was eating out. So I was eating at this restaurant recently and while I got my food fast, my friend was left waiting till I was almost done with my whole set meal before his was served.
One of the things I absolutely hate is waiting hours for my food, I like it pronto. And for the record, I’ve been losing my appetite and eating A LOT slower (which is totally unacceptable) these days. So anyway, when his food finally came, I remarked to him that I was lucky not to have ordered his item because it took so damn long...
Guess what?
For no apparent reason whatsoever, the eavesdropping waitress serving the food turned to give me a very dirty look, akin to one where I’ve just called her a "nasty bitch with smelly unshaven armpits"..
Naturally I wasn't very happy that someone had taken offence with my casual remark and given me such a look. In the first place, there was nothing wrong with my remark (not as if I commented out loud that the waitress had hairy armpits. I don't go sniffing or looking up people’s sleeves), because the food was truly slow to come!
And! Since we’re on the subject of E.coli.. my friend's food probably picked up like 20 more minutes of the bacteria during the wait! That's 240 times more than the acceptable limit! We should be filing a bloody law suit for goodness sake! Bitchy waitress aside, we passed by an ice-cream store after, displaying this huge sign proclaiming their desserts to be "94% fat-free!". My friend then remarked that it probably only means that the last 6% is pure fat. So true.
Well, I honestly don't care much about carbs or the need to diet, watch what I eat, etc. because (un)fortunately, I'm one of those born to endorse slimming centres. In other words, no matter how much I eat or want to, i’ll never seem to grow fat..
What is fidelity and monogamy? Is it truly possible for humans to be monogamous creatures? Or have we been so deluded by our so called "superior" existence? Are we, when it comes down to it, the same as animals? Is it in our make up to move from person to person, to mate, and to re-populate? Is that the basic and baser instinct we all carry in us?
Words like fidelity and monogamy, these concepts are after all, inventions of the "civilised" human race. Much like other moral values, for example, honesty and integrity, that are ingrained in us since birth, should fidelity not be adhered to as closely as well?
Personally, I would never be tempted to cheat. Being with someone else, while I'm in a relationship with someone I feel strongly for, would just feel wrong to me. It's simply not possible. But then, that's me. Is it the same for other people? Have they been affected by these ingrained ideals of superiority?
That temptation is second nature to the human race is disappointing, I suppose. How many times have we heard the phrase, "I'm human, after all"? When someone cheats on you, is it something you should take personally, or is it something that should be expected of us, as human? Human weaknesses..
Is fidelity an ideal that we have invented to justify our claim as the superior species? Have I been bound by this potentially useless idealistic view? After all, if monogamy is a moral code, why do dozens break this standard we set for ourselves every single day?
Maybe love, fidelity, good and evil, and dozens of other moralistic views are just inventions of the civilised world. Maybe when we come down to it, we are nothing but mere beasts set loose on earth.
Dear pal, I hope this is thought-provoking enough for you.. At least to formulate some soul searching answers of your own :)
I had the strangest of dreams last night. In it, I saw myself leaving this world (or dying to be blunt). Now if I were to be one who interprets dreams as a vision of the near future, I'd honestly be quite alarmed. But I do believe everyone has their place in time.
Death is inevitable, it’s not something we can control. All of us will eventually leave this world at some point. I guess the only power we do have, is the control over our own lives during our time alive.
As cliché as the saying might be, I reckon the happiest of people truly are the ones who 'live each day as if its their last'. They are the ones who treasure every single moment and will probably leave the world without regrets when the time comes..
I thought about something along that line.. I thought about my last 24 hours. If I were to be forewarned that I only had 24 hours left to live, this would be what I'd want to do..
Assuming the day starts at 12am..
I'd be at a sleepover with my closest friends. Obviously sleep will not be on the agenda. (We've all spent a third of our lives sleeping away.. why waste more hours during your last?) Anyway, we'll just stay up and enjoy each other's company all through the night.
Then in the morning, I’d meet up with old friends for a little kick about. I love soccer, and I miss all those moments of us guys getting all soaked with perspiration from morning football before school assembly..
Come afternoon, I’d have a gathering of sorts with every single person I know, over a lunch party. It'd be an opportunity to meet and just have fun with all these wonderful friends for the very last time..
After the party, I’d make a trip down with all my personal possessions to a Children's Home. I can actually still recall the very first time I volunteered at a Home.. it really touched my heart and changed my life somewhat. The one last deed I’d want to do for these children, is to put a smile on their faces and remind them that comewhatmay, they hold the destiny of their own lives..
Dinner. I'd cook dinner and have my last meal.. with my family. You've probably never heard me say this, but despite my disagreements and everything else with my parents..the family unit to me, is still the most important thing in life.
In the closing few hours before it strikes midnight.. I'd spend some time alone to reminisce all of life's happy memories. I'd write a personal letter to thank every single person who've made my life a beautiful journey. Then, in the final few minutes, I’d close my eyes with a smile, and breathe my last..
While on the bus to school this morning, a single thought struck me. Something that always comes to my mind as I sit back and people-watch. You know it's quite fascinating to observe others from a distance (not in the voyeuristic sense), the way they talk, dress and behave.
Then occasionally, when you make eye contact with that stranger for a brief second, one of you would turn away in embarrassment at being caught ‘staring’. What if people actually acknowledged each other with a nod and a smile instead? Wouldn’t that be nice?
When I was holidaying in Down Under circa 2006, I felt warmth from any random stranger that I passed on the street. They’d greet you with a smile and a simple ‘hello’ which sometimes goes to make one’s bad day seem a lot better.
Trying something like that in Singapore would only bring about trouble. The other party will probably think you’re nuts or some sick pervert.. and that’s the whole bloody problem with our society! We’re all so caught up living in our own world of oblivion that we fail to immerse ourselves in our surroundings.
Everyday, you’ll be greeted with the stony, grumpy expressions of fellow commuters and strangers alike. It’s extraordinary how their lives seem to be miserable 365 days a year! If Thailand is the land of smiles, Singapore is pathetically the land of frowns!
But anyway, that wasn't what I had set out to discuss.
Hm... We’re all living in a world filled with strangers. The passing faces you see everyday are nothing more than a mere insignificant figure. But think, every one of these people can potentially change or impact your life in some way or another.
The course of your life steers in little ways every time you develop a friendship with someone new. Some say its destiny when 2 people meet.. maybe so, but you know I really do think that anyone of us can get acquainted with any random stranger simply by having the courage to say hello.
Imagine this.. What if you had chosen to go to a different school?
Your life would probably be different from what it is now. And the obvious reality is, that you’d be hanging out with a totally different bunch of people.. the ones you know, the very same ones who are significant in your lives right at this moment, would have been nothing more than just another face.
My point is; not knowing what lies ahead in your life makes it a lot more interesting. Every passing figure you see each day isn’t merely another insignificant soul, but someone with a story of their own, and one who might very well be part of the story of your life.
I’m not saying that you should go out there and start introducing yourself to the whole world. But if the opportunity ever arises, take the initiative. Be the first to go up to someone new with an extended hand, a genuine smile, and just say hello.
Life is full of contradictions. You believe that you have a way of thinking but you behave differently. Yes, my life and probably yours too - is really weird.. Sometimes, a lot of things dont seem to make sense.
Allow me to cite some examples.. for one, I hate smokers! I can't conceive why people would smoke to harm their health just to look cool. So what if you say it soothes your nerves, some even say it helps them to run faster (Zz I pwn them anyway..) I say it freezes your system functions and you’re a nuisance with your second hand smoke.
But then again, as much as some of us might complain about these annoying smokers, the contradiction lies in the fact that we practically get ourselves exposed to loads of fumes from public transport every single day.
I eat alot and don't get fat. My definition of a lot is 2-3 meals per sitting and a total of about 9 meals a day, not including snacks. Weirdly, when I consume lesser food, I get even fatter. Hence, I have resorted to eating more to slim down.
I love to be kept busy, having things in my hand just calms my soul. I believe that by being busy, I have purpose in life. However, every time I get bogged down with work, I'll then take on an extremely stoned state and just grudgingly complete whatever shit that is thrown at me..
For most part of the time, I’d just become a mindless soul bent on completing my task. And during moments when I don't have any work to do.. I’ll complain that my tutors dont assign enough work..!
Still, i'm without a doubt.. the ultimate king of procrastination.
I'm a geek in the sense that I keep myself updated with the IT world but yet I don't go about seeking gadgets to amuse myself, just the occasional necessary musings to fiddle about with.
I seek to have a personality of my own by having my own style but can't seem to find a formula. I don’t know who or what is the real me sometimes.. Maybe I emulate too much of what i see..
I tend to talk a lot in front of strangers, just to make them comfortable.. but when I'm in a crowd and just a lone figure, I will dilute to the background. I’ll be the most anti-social guy ever, simply refusing to participate in any social activity..
I talk about being flexible and spontaneous with my thinking but I have this weird obsession of planning and having a "what to do next list" in my mental conscience. Its like, my impromptu-ness is actually an action that was already running through my head..
I reckon i'm just a walking contradiction who confuses even myself! It seems that my subconscious mind is lost in transition from adolescence to maturity, or insanity..
Tactful and run-off-the-mill guy is what I am. I take an effort to practice self-censorship though, so as not to insult anybody unintentionally. BUT, get on the wrong side of me and I’ll go all out fuming at something/someone/some issue.
In retrospect, I'm an average guy with an average life.. (I swear I’m not Spiderman.. wearing tights is so Z.O.M.G!! Your balls need some breathing space man!) Nothing too exciting, just a guy who's pretty opinionated.
Whoa... Picture me in politics! A Minister of LOCAL Affairs, standing in Parliament House ‘bitching’ about lesbians, taxi drivers, price hikes.. Maybe even the Rice Scare.
I’d look ghastly in white. And it's so against my principals to “PAY AND PAY”. I’ll form my own opposition party called TAT(take and take!). Plus, I’d only ask people to renovate/upgrade MY OWN house, not yours. And, I don't like meeting people who will come to me complaining about stray cats and their rusting window grill...
They’ll remind me a lot of myself.
How I digress as usual...
Hmm.. this blog is essentially me; with garbled thoughts and loads of complaints about anything under the sun. There is no where else you can be true to yourself except your own imagination and your own blog. At least I've made those two my own arena to stamp my say.
And believe me when I say, that whatever I ever write on my blog is only a REALLY tame interpretation of everything that goes through my head... the amount of thoughts that materializes in there every single second is just one of life’s greatest mysteries..
Sidenote: I thank God for the events that transpired this week. Firstly, I aced my H1 Chinese Paper! I was in shock when the teacher broke the news to me, and so were my friends. Can't blame them; for English and Gibberish(lolftw!) are known to be my only two languages I converse in. But hey, i'm also considered bilingual...no? I haven't been passing my Chinese since J1 and my 'zhuowen' can only garner a 10/30 at best. Amazingly, I secured an 'A' this time round. Finally (my pesky sister keeps bugging me lah. can't blog in peace. hope she reads this. grrr..) the doctor has given me the all-clear to compete! My ankle is fine and dandy now. 17 days to get my fitness back to tip-top condition for Nationals X-Country on the 23rd April.
Once again, it looks as though another veritable hornet's nest has been stirred up in my school's forum. I, on the other hand, have successfully restrained myself from replying lest it escalates into nothing short of a nuclear war ('cos I get carried away at times, hehe..) God is non-exclusive for He loves stupid people as well; he's in my school's prayer group. Geez..
He started a forum thread lambasting gays; labelling them as disgusting and unnatural which invoked the ire of the common student population.
And although I feel that the government was right not to repeal the statute on homosexuality, the issue is not something to look down upon, but rather it is something that we could try to know better and not criticize. Gays have been looked down upon by many people, which is something I don't like at all. Sexual identity is a very confusing issue to many people, and it is not really a good idea at all if one simply says that it is disgusting and unnatural. The problem is: Even the "straight" people sometimes feel homosexual impulses. A person of the same gender who is stunningly beautiful, for instance, or very successful in life, may soon begin to appeal to one's sexual senses. However, he/she only becomes a homosexual if one chooses to follow those impulses.
Another theory behind this could be due to the lack of an influence of the opposite gender in the person's life, e.g. a boy lacking a mother, or a girl lacking a father.
Before this degrades into a GP essay, let me just say this: Homosexuals are human too, and to oversimplify and generalize a complicated issue like this by calling it disgusting and unnatural only serves to show lack of maturity and critical thinking.
That's the reason why i say global fears arising from a pandemic of fatuity is NOT unfounded. There, I've said my piece. What are YOUR views?
Lately I have learnt aplenty.. boundaries have been conquered. I breathe a sigh of great relief and grief, both at the same time. The heart bleeds for both victory and defeat, its really a myriad of emotions that scales through this mountain of uncertainty.
Many people describe a situation like this as a closed chapter in life. Personally, I believe this is like a stack of cards thrown high up into the blue azure sky; the wind takes its course as it gently whispers words of wisdom and prediction as it caresses the cards through the air...
Why a stack of cards? Life's a gamble, wherever each card lands on whichever continent of the world, it is based on a fraction of probability and the big enigma that is life itself.
Would the king of hearts ever land on the same plateau as the queen of hearts again? That's an enigma itself and I'd leave it that way for now.
i have a new special friend and it's a girl. heheh
The funny thing about knowledge is that there is no way to discern between what you should seek to discover and what you're better off not knowing. It's like, acquiring new knowledge makes things simpler and more complicated at the same time.
The more I understand about things - how they work, why they behave the way they do.. the less scary and overwhelming everything around me becomes. It is as if the fact of matter has always been so obvious and simple!
Yet at the same time, learning something new always makes me wish I could tear my attention and consciousness into a million different pieces just so that I’d be able to follow the dozen different trains of thought that have entered my mind..
Sometimes, I reckon I think too much. Sometimes, being prideful pays especially when you're in a class of suckers.
my gp essay got selected as model essay and would be printed in some school publication. oh no, not again! yawns...
I guess as teenagers (and probably for the rest of our lives), one very important thing we all need are friends. But having said that, its also essential to be able to identify the qualities of a true friend.. based on a simple theory that if we know what we are looking for in a friend, we’ll probably face fewer disappointments.
What do I mean? Well, sub-consciously, all of us have different perceptions and qualities we expect in a good friend. We tend to click better with people who share our point of views, our interests, our values...
But before we judge people with our expectations, we’ve gotta be honest with ourselves and ask if we even possess these qualities we want in our friends? You’re just being a hypocrite if you demand someone else to live up to your expectations that you so evidently lack..
Some people are fair-weather friends. They are there when all is well and will desert you when trouble brews. Others hang out with you simply because they want something.. It could be your popularity that helps them share the limelight or your wealth, position, talent?
The worst of the lot would be the backstabbers. The ones who use your ideas and pass it off as their own.. the people who get all chummy when you’re around but bitches about you the minute you leave the room..
Rich people always find it easier to make “friends”, but the wise among them know that many of their so-called friends are merely using them. I reckon many famous socially prominent people are often sad because deep down they know they are surrounded by users who’d dump them when they lose their position.
True friendship should never be based on externals like money, looks and position.. all of these can so easily be lost. True friends value qualities that are precious and don’t diminish with the passing of time..
When you look at websites such as Friendster, MySpace, Facebook or whatever social networking website.. you discover the astonishment of how some people seem to have over 500 ‘friends’.. its like some popularity game. But seriously, what the point of aiming to have that many friends..?
You’ve gotta ask yourself if you even know half of those people? Others would almost certainly fall into the category of acquaintances. If you’re able to identify just 2 genuine good friends you know, that’s already a blessing!
Friendship’s not about the quantity but the quality..
The most cherished gift you can have and give someone.. is a sincere friendship. Friendship which I’ve discovered by the way.. is a two-way process. One cannot do all the taking and expect others to just keep giving.. a fact which reflects negatively on me.
I am in the process of learning to be a friend.. One who’d be able to care and share, someone who’d be willing to listen, to sympathize and empathize with others, to be there for another in good and especially bad times, to have the courage to stand by my friends and protect them from the unkindness of others.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A, It's like you're always stuck in second gear, When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year But.. I'll be there for you (When the rain starts to fall) I'll be there for you (Like I've been there before) I'll be there for you 'Cos you're there for me too... ---F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme tune---
It's rather humbling to hear from another person's perspective..
Taxi drivers are part and parcel of our daily lives. There is a demand for quick travel and they are there to supply us with this service. No matter the country, this job will always exist. Some might deem it as a lowly paid job. I see it as a job that encompasses so much more than that..
Taxi drivers... They are the ambassadors of our nations for embarking tourists. They are at our helm with the wave of our hand. They don't save lives or significantly change us but they are here to show us the way.
I wish the cab driver that I conversed with won the Senior Citizen award.
It being a long journey, it was more than idyllic chat as we talked about the education system, the economy, the population decline, maternity leave, threat of other nations on Singapore's territory, the job industry.. I can engage in MATURE conversations okay!
I shared my views as he shared his. I knew I was endangering my life, with him concentrating on his driving (which was unnervingly fast) and with the chat we were having. The journey was swift and brief but I got so much more from there. He gave me a piece of advice.. a quote to face the future..
"Study your best, expect the worst"
As much as you and I can study very hard now, whether any employer would employ us, is a totally different ball game. Educational qualifications matter only that much. And being a natural pessimist, I believe in Murphy's Law. I’ll never place myself too high and risk getting knocked down with one single blow from the government.
Hmm, maybe I ought to be a taxi driver! if i dont have a school to attend by the end of this year
Sometimes in your quiet moments, as you sit and reminisce... the ghosts of yesterday comes back to haunt you. Incidents you don’t want to remember, happenings you wish never did occur the way it did.
Everyone has skeletons in their closets.
We gather them along as we live life. And there’ll be times all you want to do is sweep them under the carpet and leave it there forever. From heart-wrenching memories to embarrassing moments, these specters of memories randomly float around our head at odd moments when we least expect it..
I do get that sometimes, a lot of times.. I’ve made mistakes that would make me cringe whenever I think about it. And they always seem to flashback in spastic moments. Some of which are cherished memories, while others I dread and am deeply ashamed about.
But I guess it's only wise to just lift our heads high from the gloom that dooms us..
And look ahead towards a better horizon out there. There’s no point harping on the past and letting it obstruct our path towards a brighter future.
Falling down doesn’t make you a failure- Staying down does. We cant turn back time to undo our wrongs but we can make our life ahead worthwhile.
Because really... Life can only be understood looking backwards but it must be lived looking forward. So whatever problems you’re facing, remember to be strong & smile. And you would come out triumphant!
