Saturday, November 22, 2008
I swear, taxis are the devil in disguise. Every time I hop on one, I’m shortening my life span by a few years because my heart stops beating each time the price meter jumps at an unbelievably frightening rate!
Yet, they’re a lifesaver during moments when you’re extremely late for school, work or meetings with friends LOL! Again, I took a cab back this afternoon from Bukit Panjang to Punggol as I was lazy to take the bus home. I’ve probably minus-ed 10 years of my life savings in just these 4 days, shuttling between far flung locations like Revenue House and other meeting places situated at the North Pole, in those money-munching monsters.
Goodness, Singapore isn’t so “small” when you’re in a freaking taxi!
Anyway, I’m going to relate certain “chat/pick up lines” used by girls these days.
1) Girls when they’re together.
A: “Hey B, whats my handphone number ah?”
B will then shout it out loud. Its so obvious what they’re trying to do. But hey, its not as if the guy’s going to bother taking down your number (unless he is that desperate), in fact he’ll probably think you’re a complete ditz for not remembering your own contact number(LIKE SHIRLEY!! HAHA YOU RETARD!)
2) Girls will again linger around hoping the guy will make eye contact with them and when he does, they’ll smile at him. Or if they’re in groups, they will blatantly “dare” each other to talk to the guy. Then they’ll go squealing off as if they won the world cup. Or in worst case scenarios, they’ll simply go up to the guy and just ask for his number.
3) Girls will begin talking out loud nonsensically, deliberately making themselves an attention magnet. Admittedly, guys are always guilty of this as well.. doing stupid exaggerate things with the hopes of getting that certain person’s attention. Truth is, it's plain annoying, not cute.
4) They’ll go “old school” and slip you notes with little messages, signing off anonymously or leaving their email address. I personally think old school style is quite cute. In a generation of modern technology, anything that has that personal touch always adds that something different.
5) Some girls will hunt the guy down on friendster/facebook/blogs. There’s a high chance of finding that certain person online.. all you really need is the guy or girl’s name and school. And in Singapore, EVERYONE is somehow connected to each other.
Hmm… What kind of pick up line or method would YOU use if you want to get to know a certain person you're interested in?Labels: Dating, Girls, Public Transport
11:12:00 PM
Monday, October 13, 2008
Morning bus rides to school can annoy you to no end. Sometimes you'd just be overwhelmed with this incredible urge to kill some inconsiderate assholes. But I chuckled at a new random thought as I watched commuters grinding against each other on the packed bus this morning..
Taking a morning bus is almost like going to a club party.
Everyone forms a long line outside the doors wanting to get into the “club" while a mosh pit goes on inside with Ah Ma(s) grinding young boys and what not. The "bouncers" though, aren’t the ones standing at the door..
They're the bloody assholes standing inside the bus refusing to move to the rear which inevitably limits the number of commuters that can get on at subsequent stops. I swear, if I had a gun, I’ll really shoot those people!
It's like, there you are at the bus stop looking at time tick away and the possibility of you being late for school if the bus doesn’t turn up in the next few minutes. Then from the distance, you spot that good old' familiar vehicle turning round the corner and you scream "hallelujah!"..
But the bus drives on and as it passes, you notice that while people at the front are so squashed against the front door, the rear of the bus has ALOT of standing space. Why? Blame the bloody "bouncer(s)", they're doing a damn good job..
In contradiction, if you're already in the bus, you'd want to kiss these bouncers because they are the ones who ensure the bus never stops but zooms pass every other stop.
Anyway, lets go back into the club.. By that I mean the bus of course. Its like a mosh pit in there and I shall practice censorship by not detailing the things that goes on in a morning bus. Hmm anyway, in all club parties, the star attraction is usually the deejay spinning the night's music..
In the bus, that superstar deejay is the bus captain. In clubs, people will start cheering and dancing when the DJ spins a hit song.. on the bus, everyone will silently cheer and start moving when the bus captain stands up and screams "PLEASE MOVE TO THE REAR!"..
Then, the fun and party finally ends when the bus reaches the stop where majority of commuters alight. But hey, there's always the next morning… every morning.
For the most happening party for people of all ages, races, genders.. Hop on to your next morning bus turning round the corner!Labels: Public Transport
10:45:00 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Growing poor as the days go by, I swear I’ll have to sell tissue paper on Orchard Road really soon at the rate I'm spending...on cabs and food! Well, if it’s by any means a scant consolation, at least i still have enough dosh left for my daily dose of candy!
Taxis.. Gee, i really do need a car already!
Which brings me to the point of entry about another mode of transport in Singapore.. the MRTs! As a frequent commuter of MRTs, i estimate I’ll spend 4% of my lifetime on trains. And the other 96%; sleeping.
There are a few things you can do on the train. Sit, stand, sit on the floor. Then, while you are in these various positions, you either read the papers, chat on the phone, play SIMON SAYS and plug in your earpiece like everyone else, read a book or dig your nose. (Roll it with your thumb and index finger, then flick it in the face of some hapless kid.)
This is where it gets interesting: People always jostle for space, to get as much circle of freedom. This gets especially complicated during office and school (before and after) hours. The crowd gets enormous and the most lethal things on these trains aren't the people standing over the yellow line and running for empty seats as if they’re going to war...
Instead, it is something that reeks and occupies loads of space. You’re probably thinking body odor or the ‘aroma of fart’. Well, i am not referring to that. I swear I’ll fart in your face if you ever give me a whiff of something foul emanating from you..
The thing that irks me the most.. are morning tabloids. (Okay, so tell me.. What irks you people? Applicable only to matters concerning time onboard public transportation.)
I don't know about you people but the smell of fresh newspaper makes me wanna puke. Well the smell of one isn't exactly that bad.. but when 20 newspapers crammed in a place where only 21 people can stand, that would make you the odd one out without the smell.
I was tempted to turn the tables and unleash my weapon of mass destruction-fart just to gain more space in the train, but people spread their newspaper so wide as though they were in their toilet cubicle shitting.
What makes it worse is the very fact that these crisp tabloids have sharp edges. So, whenever I enter trains, I’ll always receive a welcome scratch and get mauled by tabloids spreading themselves (and of course by the sounds of young punks blasting music! But that’s something else altogether).
Therefore I'm starting a new movement! An anti-free-newspaper environment.. due to the fact that they are highly dangerous! The next time i see some bloody prick bringing a tabloid on board the train.. I'm gonna be a very good Singaporean and call 'won ba de.. won ba de.. won ba de'.
It is against the law to bring highly dangerous objects on board public transport! And my life is in jeopardy whenever you do! So there!
Whoever knows which idiot invented the idea of free tabloids, I'm going over there to fart in his very face.
Better yet, I'll scratch him with my newspaper..
TRACK FINALS YEAH! I NEED SUPPORT!
J-MO, find an excuse to come down to CCK stadium if you're stil based in Stagmont Camp. Dinner's on me afterwards ;)Labels: Public Transport
8:03:00 PM
