back then.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Growing poor as the days go by, I swear I’ll have to sell tissue paper on Orchard Road really soon at the rate I'm spending...on cabs and food! Well, if it’s by any means a scant consolation, at least i still have enough dosh left for my daily dose of candy!

Taxis.. Gee, i really do need a car already!

Which brings me to the point of entry about another mode of transport in Singapore.. the MRTs! As a frequent commuter of MRTs, i estimate I’ll spend 4% of my lifetime on trains. And the other 96%; sleeping.

There are a few things you can do on the train. Sit, stand, sit on the floor. Then, while you are in these various positions, you either read the papers, chat on the phone, play SIMON SAYS and plug in your earpiece like everyone else, read a book or dig your nose. (Roll it with your thumb and index finger, then flick it in the face of some hapless kid.)

This is where it gets interesting: People always jostle for space, to get as much circle of freedom. This gets especially complicated during office and school (before and after) hours. The crowd gets enormous and the most lethal things on these trains aren't the people standing over the yellow line and running for empty seats as if they’re going to war...

Instead, it is something that reeks and occupies loads of space. You’re probably thinking body odor or the ‘aroma of fart’. Well, i am not referring to that. I swear I’ll fart in your face if you ever give me a whiff of something foul emanating from you..

The thing that irks me the most.. are morning tabloids. (Okay, so tell me.. What irks you people? Applicable only to matters concerning time onboard public transportation.)

I don't know about you people but the smell of fresh newspaper makes me wanna puke. Well the smell of one isn't exactly that bad.. but when 20 newspapers crammed in a place where only 21 people can stand, that would make you the odd one out without the smell.

I was tempted to turn the tables and unleash my weapon of mass destruction-fart just to gain more space in the train, but people spread their newspaper so wide as though they were in their toilet cubicle shitting.

What makes it worse is the very fact that these crisp tabloids have sharp edges. So, whenever I enter trains, I’ll always receive a welcome scratch and get mauled by tabloids spreading themselves (and of course by the sounds of young punks blasting music! But that’s something else altogether).

Therefore I'm starting a new movement! An anti-free-newspaper environment.. due to the fact that they are highly dangerous! The next time i see some bloody prick bringing a tabloid on board the train.. I'm gonna be a very good Singaporean and call 'won ba de.. won ba de.. won ba de'.

It is against the law to bring highly dangerous objects on board public transport! And my life is in jeopardy whenever you do! So there!

Whoever knows which idiot invented the idea of free tabloids, I'm going over there to fart in his very face.

Better yet, I'll scratch him with my newspaper..

TRACK FINALS YEAH! I NEED SUPPORT!
J-MO, find an excuse to come down to CCK stadium if you're stil based in Stagmont Camp. Dinner's on me afterwards ;)

Labels: Public Transport

8:03:00 PM