watch me rant!

2009-06-08T16:15:00.003+08:00

Today is just one of those days where everything seems gloomy and un-fixable.

Damn, even the music playing is depressing.

You know what days like these make me feel like doing?

It makes me wish that it would rain, so I can go sit in the rain and think about stuff. It's very therapeutic actually. Try it one day. Yeah, I know, a tad overdramatic, but still works.

I have many ways of getting over depression la. One would be the one mentioned above. Another one would be running. Seriously. When I run when I'm depressed, or torn about something, I run without noticing the distance. My thoughts would solely be concentrated on the problem bothering me, and at the end of the run, I would either have come up with a solution, or I would have run myself too ragged to even care about the problem.

Hahaha. But then, I can't really run now. What else. There's blood in my mucus and blood in my phelgm... Eew you might say...

Sometimes I lug my ass down to any Starbucks. Be it Novena, City Hall, Millennia Walk or even somewhere I've never been before. I go wherever my heart takes me. I sit my depressed self down at Starbucks, order a Cafe Latte, and just read a book. Somehow, being in a different place, just makes me feel better. Having the bustle of people around me, and knowing that however much I feel like I have no one, there are always people in the world, and I'm never truly alone.

Sometimes I bake. But the goods that I bake usually end up uneaten, so I lay off that these days. Anyone wants any delicious goodies baked chockfull of depression? Hahaha.

I wish Singapore was bigger. If only Singapore had rolls after rolls of green grass, and overwhelming beauty. If only it had natural scenery and beauty. I've always thought that nothing can ever be that bad if you can see beautiful things everyday. Nature always makes me feel better. Wherever I'm going, it will have natural awe inspiring scenery. And I will never be that sad again.

I suppose it's in everyone to have someone with them when they're faced with beauty. When you re under a marvelous expanse of stars, like how I often experienced when training outfield, you want someone there with you to admire it, and to share the swell of happiness that inadvertently comes when faced with such a sight.

I know what kind of a person I am. I think I forgot myself for a while back there. But I know I am an independent person. Now.

It's time I grew up.

2009-05-22T15:41:00.001+08:00

Love happens to anyone, at anytime of our lives.
We either manage to grasp hold of it, at the right time
Or fail to hold on to it, or even realise it is before our eyes.

Often though, we fail to have any form of chemistry
with the other party, or vice versa, and it becomes
unreciprocrated love.

Which is better ?

To be loved, and not love back
or to love, and not be loved back?

2009-04-26T00:10:00.005+08:00

Finding The Better Part of Me.

If there was 1 thing you could change about me..
..one thing that might make me a better person

What would it be?

I WANT TO DO SOMETHING CRAZY. I want to do something utterly insane, irresponsible, and unexpected. I want to burst out on the streets like light exploding into seven colors. I want to be a kaleidoscope, ever-changing and unpredictable. I want to scream and shout and sing at the top of my voice. I want to be friends with the whole wide world. I want to cartwheel to get around. I want to run around and hug random objects. I want the freedom to be me.

I seek the security and comfort that I imagine will balance me out, complementing the 19 year old boy I am and giving me the energy and motivation to push myself harder and become a better me. I don't think it's too much to hope for... I just don't want any lies, I don't want conditions and I don't want the hurt. I just want to know that something that good exists and will come my way in due time - hopefully sometime soon. I want to learn that the stories are real and that happiness can last. Just let me come home.

"I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiving
Nothing you can say could stop me going home."
- Famous Last Words (My Chemical Romance)

2009-04-11T22:37:00.002+08:00

Hello there , it has been awhile since I've last updated. I'm living the 'Tekong Dream' ; Reveille at 0530, Lights Out at 2230. Get knocked down for the most trivial of mistakes committed, or like how they view every seemingly innocuous thing as an opportunity to make you face the floor. Everything is controlled; from how much time you have to eat, sleep or shit et cetera et cetera. ANNOYING! But aiya, LAN LAN SUCK THUMB lo... Not to mention the allowance is dirt, just a shopping trip today with Joel and my sister set me about 300 odd dollars. Yes, 300 spent on myself alone. Yes again, 75% of my allowance. Pfftt..

It's not my aim to whine here anyway, after all I believe that Money isn't yours until you spend it. Honestly, spend a second or two to think about what's said. And tell me if you think I'm wrong. Haha. But what I really want to know about is how you guys feel about what I have to say next....

What is love?

Love.. that special bond you share with family, friends or significant other.

Love. A word so magical when you really mean what you say.
Love. A feeling that often gives meaning, hope and inspiration.

Love.. those who don't like it call it responsibility. Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. Those who understand it call it destiny.

Among others, love is true acceptance, and being there no matter what happens. I read this story online about this old man hurrying his doctor's appointment so he can have breakfast with his wife. The doctor asked if she would be worried if he was late, but he said that his wife has Alzheimer Disease and hasn't been able to recognise him for the past 5 years. The doctor asked why he still went every morning if she doesn't know him anymore?

He said: "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

So tell me people,
What is love to YOU..?

I'd say
Love is better off experienced than figured out.

2009-03-13T01:48:00.001+08:00

Enlisting in 8 hours time. I've never been this anxious... It's almost like I'm a new father expecting my baby. Yeah, my life is never gonna be the same it was before. But it's not all gonna be baddd; for one I'd have to ditch my childish antics! HAHA admittedly, it won't be that easy to accomplish. But I'd try!

By the same token, I'm afraid of changes that would leave no stone unturned. Upsetting the status quo would leave me quite upset, to be frank. Relationships would suffer but it won't be sacrificed. Shucks.. Thank God for that. It would make easy amendment. *crosses fingers*

Here's something I wrote in a letter to a friend and I quite like it, so i've decided to include it here as well!

Sometimes we drift, we may go our separate ways in pursuit of life and dreams. But the beauty of it all, is growing separately but never growing apart..

Don't miss me too much yeah? It's only 2 weeks ;)

2009-03-08T23:24:00.003+08:00

I don't understand how some people can be so bloody pessimistic. It's as if you're living a life taking everything good for granted! It makes no sense to me at all to whine and lament and honestly feel sad for your existence because the truth of the matter is, everything you get in life is brought upon by yourself. Especially when we are living in Singapore, there really isn't any chance for you to complain about how you never managed to make your life any better. Even with regard to intangible life choices - love begotten is dependent on your own outlook towards life and love! It makes no sense how anyone can wallow in their own misery because truth be told, there is no misery.

There are things to be thankful for everyday - I thank God for noodles, instant noodles (as opposed to being sad I don't have a good dinner whatsoever), I thank God for Joel (as opposed to being cowardly and refusing to take the water slides with me..), I thank God for my friends who came over yesterday despite their busy schedules and for the gifts I'd received. I've never been more blessed! And I thank God for YOU! as opposed to whining about anything because, I deserve what I get, and I am happy with what I deserve, and I get what I deserve for being happy! Yes, even as enlistment looms and threatens to doom. LOL

(And even if I didn't, there would be no reason to be unhappy or pessimistic)

It's not that I don't get sad. I get so sad too, I'm only human. And it's not that I've done anything that I've not regretted. But I get saddened by things worth getting saddened about. And I do regret some of the things I've done or said or thought but not having acted on them.. For being sad over life's little things that we can change, is disregarding everything else, saying everything else in your life don't mean squat.

but then again i reckon i might regret posting this, for i sincerely also believe that humans are innately fallible, but okay lah, fall due to the right things lah!

GOODNIGHT! <3

EDIT: Mabel demands to have her name there too. I thank God for Mabel too; she has a sweet side to her that nobody knows about. Not even me. But by faith, I proclaim HAHAHAHA. There you go;)

2009-02-26T13:25:00.002+08:00

An excerpt taken off the MINDEF forums.Damnit, I'm turning pro-army now when not too long ago I was dead set against conscription.. :p ENJOY!!

"How two rite gud"
Frank L. ViscoVice-president and Senior Copywriter at US Advertising.
My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

Avoid alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split up an infinitive.
Contractions aren't necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
Profanity sucks dick.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
One-word sentences? Never.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Be careful to use apostrophe's correctly.
Do not use them pronouns as modifiers.
And never start a sentence with a conjunction.

Didn't understand a shit?

As men become more intelligent they should understand the true intellectual equality of all men, because the relative difference between the least intelligent and the most intelligent is infinitesimally small in comparison to what is yet unknown.
– Albert Einstein

Now we know; Intelligence IS relative.

2009-02-23T00:22:00.004+08:00

Disclaimer: Despite all that I'd have to say; which is done out of good fun and ribbing taken at my good female friend by the way, i harbour no malice towards females. My mum is a female, my sister is a female, even my Ah Gong is a female HAHAHA. I love Eve. Shoo! Adam..

I bet you've read Mabel's blog. You know how girls are; they tend to be overwhelmingly dramatic. And they often tend to portray themselves in a good light. But here's what actually happened. I give you raw, uncut, uncensored. Thrown in with unedited spelling errors for good measure. They contradict themselves and they do as they are told. Even loyal canines have met their match in the form of females.

Presenting Female Stupidity Take 1:

Viridity says:

-.-

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

SMACK UR STUPID FACE AH

-._

-.-

lol

Viridity says:

whose idea to fish tmr

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

mine

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

why

u dont come hor

Viridity says:

stop claiming credit la

you and melly both claiming credit

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

hahahah

yeah i know

i told him to say that

really

Viridity says:

i gotta study la

noob

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

yeah

so dont come

Viridity says:

if not i earlier alr ask why you never ask me

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

even if u free i also dont want

Viridity says:

why

you damn bad

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

for waht

doing u a favour leh

cz if i ask u, u sure come

Viridity says:

you think i cannot tahan mud meh

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

then i dont want u to be obliged

but u sure complain

then i'd be forced to toss u into the sea

HAHAHAHA

Viridity says:

-.-

kuku

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

i dont know where im gonna get incredible strength from

Viridity says:

-.-

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

oh... from my msn nick!

Viridity says:

-.-

wth

that's damn lame

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

fos fos fos

fos

im fos

fos

im a factory outlet store

Viridity says:

i'm gonna blog this convo

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

LOL

for what

you fos la.

Viridity says:

to show the world your dumbness

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

fat or stumpy

lol

Viridity says:

you wait.

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

lol

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

come la

wanna start a blog war is it

h8aha

Viridity says:

ok done

my sister snoring

LOL

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

lol

JUSTINCREDIBLE says:

enter that one in also!

hahaha

really

put that in

damn funny

Viridity says:

lol

Viridity says:

2009-02-20T15:42:00.003+08:00

I'm no Artist...

I have absolutely no future in drawing but lately, I've been thinking about how Art relates to me. About how I use Art, can use Art, and why I believe in using Art to make sense of the world around us.

I spend so much time thinking and reveling in fantasy, escapism, and just feel empowered when there's energy in the air before it rains, when the sun's in transition.

The adrenaline awakens me when I sense that anything could happen. It's as though the world's surface is shrouded in a hyper epic reality that is indeed holistic existential reality; and not the droning course of reality that people believe they lead their lives in.

In the unpredictability of such surroundings, breathing environments of which the atmosphere we soak in, there is stability and reassurance that a greater divinity guardians our existence.

Disneyland, the worlds created within motion pictures of art, these are realities to me that are essentially an assertion and also a consequence of existence. The mundane office routine, the train rides that we take for granted; these negate our humanoid disposition.

Randomness as salvation and a rejection of such claustrophobic structure, the embracing of idiosyncrasies and feeling based, instinct driven harmonies in art, music, video, and literature. All these different things that accumulate into an understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

They set us in a particular direction, in hope that ultimately the answers to life's mysteries will be revealed to us, our purposes fulfilled, and what we have accomplished will have eternal significance.

I like to see the big picture, like a 3rd person point of view. Life seems interesting when you view it that way.. But I also believe that a balance is very important.. ultimately, you've got to remember to live.

Hmm.. Many a times when I write entries such as these, people will come by saying that they don’t get what I'm trying to say at all. Well, you don’t need to.. it's just my brain working overtime thinking of the many aspects in life that 'inspired' me to write..

But if you’re able to read between the lines and unravel the essential message I sought to convey.. I’d really think that you and I will be able to have a nice chit chat over lunch or dinner... at a mental institution.

Anyway, I caught Knocked Up on HBO last night. There was this scene which made me laugh out loud; yes it's macabre but hey It's funny lor!

2009-02-16T00:12:00.002+08:00

I came across two news articles related to money recently. One explored the link between material wealth and happiness. The other related a seemingly different mindset between Asians and Australians when it comes to the money issue. It seems that for most Asians, the topic of money dominates most conversations. As for the Australians, they were more preoccupied with other social and non-wealth related topics.

Putting one and one together, these articles intrigue me because I tend to agree we are too engrossed in accumulating wealth. Money can buy us the luxurious coupe, dream home or even that long overdue holiday. However, couples have broken up, marriages have failed and even families have been destroy directly or indirectly due to money. This really highlights the power the money can bring about at both ends of the spectrum.

I believe as we go in search of material wealth, we should also keep stock of our balance in life. I have to admit I belong to the group who sometimes get too blinded with money that I'd offer to take on extra job assignments or work overtime (LOL @ Shaowei) to feed my extravagant lifestyle.. No, the allowance from my parents is hardly enough to last me the week. However, what about my parents, family and hobbies? These aspects of my life becomes neglected and when one looks back what is the point of having so much money when it cannot buy love and kinship?

I've heard of a self-made millionaire businessman, the father of my ex-classmate. Even before selling his electronics business, he had already amassed a pile of wealth which many can only long for. However, all his children have either migrated or are overseas studying. When it came to festive holidays, he would readily invite employees to his home. His frequent invitations came about because he was worried of boredom. This is because his sprawling mansion is occupied by only his wife, a couple of maids, himself and a huge dose of loneliness.

We work so hard so whether we want to scrimp and save or splurge and enjoy is our prerogative. However, I believe money may be a common denominator but it is not the only thing that makes our life worthwhile. Material wealth can bring contentment but only a balanced spiritual and emotional state can bring about a higher level of true happiness.

On a side note: I think I need to buy a girlfriend. To up my emotional ante!

You, my paramour? NEVER!

2009-02-09T19:12:00.001+08:00

How highly do you think of yourself? Your Result: High on the outside You look in the mirror and know that looks don't matter and know you are fine just the way you are. However, you are not happy with who you are and no matter what you do, it just never seems right. But don't give up on yourself, there's a great person just waiting to come out!
High on the inside
Too high
Too low
How highly do you think of yourself? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Social Nerd
Musician
Artistic Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Drama Nerd
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

what color is your inner spirit? Your Result: Your inner self is yellow Bouncy and full of fun, you love fun and a party is when you like to show off yourself. You love the senses and love to take pleasure in everything, like food, night life, time in the bed, and especially clothes. However, sometimes you don't know how to balance responsiblity and work with your fun. The coolest thing about you is that people are attracted to you and you bring a lot of joy.
Your inner self is Red!
Your inner self is Orange!
Your inner self is Blue
Your inner self is brown
Your inner self is green
Your inner self is Purple!
what color is your inner spirit? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The Midland
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies! You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract models!
You attract artsy people!
You attract rednecks!
You attract unstable people!
What type of person do you attract? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Your score on this personality test was 65%

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Personality Quiz
Take More Quizzes

I'm SOOOO BORED. >:-(

2009-02-09T18:28:00.001+08:00

I read a pretty interesting commentary in the papers some time back. The writer talked about how he swat a fly one day and linked the insect’s behaviour to that of human reaction during times of danger or uncertainty. In short, he was sitting in a room one day and a fly flew into the room. Annoyed by the irritant, he decided to reach for the flyswatter. As he moved away from his seat, the fly chose to remain at a ledge and not move. Only when the writer came back with the swatter, the insect decided to make a dash for safety..by then it was history.

Similar, the writer related this episode to how humans react in times of danger. Usually, when the first sign of danger occurs, we tend to linger around either to find out what is happening or are just plain oblivious to the situation. Only when the danger escalates do we actually make a run for our lives.

I would say for the selected few, they will emerge as heroes by staying around and helping out. However, for most, they end up as part of the victim count. What will you do? Would it not be better by making a dash in signs of danger to safeguard oneself? However, this contradicts with our learnings. During our formative years, parents and teachers often preach of resilience and calmness in the face of storm highly desireable traits.

So do you fight or flight? Think about it :)

2009-02-02T21:25:00.003+08:00

Check out this article of how much 1 guy loves (literally) his car.

I do not know what to make of it but I feel very confused!

It's only a lowly second hand Volkswagon. I shudder to imagine what would happen if he pockets the ignition key to a spanking new Bayerische Motoren Werke also dubbed the ULTIMATE driving machine. Forget the lamborghinis parked by the sidewalk, I'd go bersek for a BMW.

Ooo yeah, I really do like things sleek and sexy ;)

(and yes, i really am disappointed with you)

2009-01-28T15:08:00.005+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Looked down on You have a very high self image. You're the kind of person that loves being in the center of attention. You're very outgoing, and outspoken. You also always have to look you're best. Whether going out, or just hanging out with the girls if you're not looking great you're not happy. You're a natural born leader, and love when people look up to you. You're worst fear is that someone won't like you, or look up to you. If someone criticized or critiqued you to the point that people stopped wanting to hang around you, or began thinking less of you that would be your worst nightmare. You secretly really want to be liked, respected and appreciated by others. A good way to make sure that people have a positive view of you is to consider their thoughts and feelings also.
Losing Someone
Death
Commitment
Being Alone
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What am I supposed to say in response to the quiz results? Gosh, this is eerily accurate to the point that it scares me... =s

EDIT-
I like this quote from Marilyn Monroe. Never knew that a long dead movie star and one time sex symbol can have such a profound impact on me. Ha...

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you learn to appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself...and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

Have a good night, my beloved people.

2009-01-21T10:39:00.005+08:00

To my Ah Gong, with love.

I know we are all feeling a little bit sad,
That we've lost our Ah gong, our friend and our dad
Together we have cried an ocean of tears
As we feel so empty and hold many fears

But Ah gong would want us to know he's in a good place
And that he's watching us all with a smile on his face
As we have made him so proud, as proud as can be
That he has raised such a beautiful and special family

Thinking back now I really must say
I feel lucky and privileged to have known
Ah gong to this day
For in my life, you have played a special part
The memories I will treasure and keep close to my heart

For me I am glad us as little babies he got to meet
And for all of us, be grateful, his life is now complete
To each one of us he has loved and cared
And as a family, be thankful for the good times we shared

Although he has gone we will always be together
And his spirit will live on each one of us forever
When you look to the sky, look for the brightest star
As that will be Ah gong looking down on us from afar

And now I would like to thank the good Lord above
For blessing us with our Ah gong with his kindness and love
Dear God, if it is not too much to ask
Take extra special care of our Ah gong as he is very dear to us

Ah gong if you are listening say a prayer for us every day
Be sure to protect us and guide us on our way
We know when God called you, you had to go
But we want you to know Ah gong we miss you and love you so

2009-01-20T20:09:00.004+08:00

Goodbye Ah Gong.
Sorry we couldn't celebrate your 81st birthday this year.

We love you always.

Many hugs and kisses,

Justin,Amanda,Ryan and Brian.

I wanna cry but I can't.

'cause if I do.. I know i'd never stop

2009-01-18T03:54:00.002+08:00

Tugging at my heart strings, I’m your Pinocchio.
Your causal, my effect.

Felt like this some time before,
this palpitation had never gone away.

Every eyelid that needs to shut, it opens me up again,
Where is my lover?

“Wait, they don’t love you like I love you.”
Familiar, I say the same now. Today. Tomorrow.

Skips a beat, every beat, and it’s all for you.
I’m your fool.

It's almost 4am yet I'm still wide awake.
Zzz-Monster, I proffer my jugular to you.
It's Yours for the taking..
Sweet,sweet venom.

2009-01-15T18:07:00.002+08:00

What does marriage mean to you?

Or rather, what does commitment mean to you?
For example, I don't believe in divorce. Neither do I throw in the towel easily.

I believe that as long as both parties are willing, things can always work out. If you were together once, it means that you once had something in common. And no matter how bad things were, it can always be resolved.

I am the sort of person who doesn't forget a friend. Once my friend, always my friend.
I know, I make it sound like a death sentence.

But still. It would take overwhelmingly startling evidence that you're despicable, before I give up on someone I know.

I mean, I would help my friend drag a dead body to dispose of if she explained the reason behind why she did it. In my eyes, my friends will always get the benefit of the doubt with me.

I will never forgo a friend.
I think it may be because I grew up with so little familial influence, that my friends inevitably became my family instead. I sought comfort from them, I derived who I became from aspects of my friends that I thought good. I have a little bit of all my friends in me.

In other words, I am one of a kind. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Okay, no, I did not go one big round just to praise myself.

What I want to point out is, that I don't give up easily. I'll always make an effort to reconcile with the people I care about...

Unless they make me despise them la, that's a different story.

So you know, I know it's different for everyone. Are you the kind who would let a friend drift away, just because you're too lazy to pop a call, or to send a text?

Because if you are, I hope you make more of an effort if and when you choose to have a life with someone else.

Thank you for being my friend :)

2008-12-31T21:45:00.002+08:00

Go to your calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2008. Post the first sentence of it in your journal, and that’s your “Year in Review”.

JAN
“It's funny cause 2007 just feels like yesterday.Doesn't it....?”

FEB
“Brief CNY post because I'm darn lazy to blog something sensible. Just make do with it; at least for now please..”

MAR
“I'm getting a real kick out of asking my maid to recite numerals 1-10 in her mother tongue - over and over again.Somehow, I would break out in uproarious laughter when she reaches number 8...”

APR
“Have you ever gotten one of those bloody annoying chain mails or stuff where you have to continue the trend or face the consequences of breaking the chain? You see a lot of these stupid things on social networking sites like Facebook or Friendster (more of Friendster actually- Not that I've started using it again) , where “something will happen if you (don’t) repost”. “

MAY
“If I were an enzyme i would be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes..”

JUNE
“I would say that I've turned into someone really quite different. The things that I do now, are things that I would never have done in the past.”

JULY
“I never knew how very much a person's life can change. How one incident can make you feel constantly perplexed and dogged by uncertainty.”

AUGUST
“Why does life have to be so complex? Why do people have to be so superficial? Whatever happened to our days of sweet innocence as little kids not caring about anything else beyond our ideal world of imaginations?.”

SEPT
“What is fidelity and monogamy? Is it truly possible for humans to be monogamous creatures? Or have we been so deluded by our so called "superior" existence?”

OCT
“It’s so unfair that many chose to sign off anonymously… But okay due to the constant stream of questions, I’ll answer not just the first 20, but every single one that’s posted before I actually start replying them.”

NOV
“I am a lot more innocent than people would think. And I think people who are really close to me would know that.”

DEC
“My gaze wanders to the clock ticking above, my eyes fixated on the movement of the hands.”
I got it from my sister's blog. Rather interesting don't you think?
Welcome, to the threshold of 2008.
Hello 2009:D

2008-12-30T19:39:00.003+08:00

I just had this sudden urge to blog. Hooray to Justin's inspiration!
This matter really hit home considering how brand conscious and materialistic I've grown to become.

What really struck me was this photo I viewed at the ongoing exhibition at the Singapore Arts Museum. That picture showed a lady with the words “Christian Dior” engraved on the skin of her left forearm. At first glance, it seems like a kind of sadistic photo.

After a while, it sunk into me the real meaning of the photo was a direct message on fashion. Many of us crave to own the LV, Gucci, Prada or other unpronounceable branded bags. In reality what message are we trying to send out with these products? Is it the fact that we are rich enough to own these exquisite products?

Many of us use fashion as a means to portray ourselves. We try to be “hip and cool” in that sense. Looking “unfashionable” seems like an absolute crime and many of us do not want to be caught dead in that situation. In reality, to stay current with the latest fashion, a lot of time and effort has to be invested. In itself, the boundaries of fashion are very much controlled by the designers and the media. To me, by following fashion, one effectively becomes a slave simply because he is following the rules set by others. To put it crudely, it seems more like fashion followers are simply led around by the trend setters like mindless slaves.

Fashion is really what you feel comfortable it. Why bother about what others think if you are at peace with yourself? I guess this photo inspires me to think what really is fashion? Have we unwittingly become a slave in the process of staying “fashionable”?

Think about it :)

2008-12-29T14:19:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling so uninspired lately thereby accounting for the lack of juicy updates. Heck, I've even toyed with the idea of deleting this blog entirely. Blogging is seen as an outlet of expression; though one can never be too careful on this cyber-realm we dub as the World Wide Web. Of late, there's been a dearth of plot and narrowness of imagination.

Yes, I find it difficult to express myself. Even in writing.

But 'dao', here it goes...

Everyone makes mistakes. One mistake. Two mistakes. Dozen mistakes. Today, Yesterday, Tomorrow. We all make mistakes. Every minute of our life we make decisions, some of which may turn out to be mistakes.

Sometimes we are told to learn from others' mistakes. But I firmly believe that we learn most from our own mistakes. So just go out there and make your own mistakes. You will definitely fall down, get hurt, cry, laugh, love, struggle, but you will always get back up, stronger.

Life is too short to stay down and feel regret for those mistakes. You just have to believe that everything happens for a reason. And if you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that life's going to be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. It’s not what you look like or what you have. But it’s the little things in life that make it all worth while..

Watching the sunset and the moon rise. Spending time doing crazy things with your friends. Moments where you spend those precious minutes with family. Random trips in the middle of the night. Taking a nice long walk. Dancing in the rain. Singing as if no one could hear you. Staying up all night with your best friend(s). Falling in love. Smiling. A hug. Conquering your biggest fear. Watching the waves crash into the sand. Spending a day shopping. Eating till your heart's content..

Life doesn't always give second chances, take the first one. Live it to the full (No such thing as Living life to the fullest; you would be committing a gross mistake if you did ;) ) with no regrets from yesterday. Maybe you will make your own mistakes but then you will never regret the things you learnt through the experience..

Just remember that you only get one shot..
One shot at this minute.
One shot at this day.
One shot at this age.
One shot at life.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment, and take from it everything you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. So what does one mistake mean if you see the big picture?

2008-12-16T22:13:00.003+08:00

Automated flushes are a godsend in a country where the people have cultivated an amazing tendency of avoiding toilet flushes like the plague.

However i have a grouse. I think I have an affinity with ‘phantom flushes’ ... in that I mean the sort of toilet seats that starts flushing up a storm under my ass while I am still seated on it..

Now it would’ve been alright if it was just a ripple but as you know, those bloody automated flush systems are normally as 'gentle' as category 5 storms, usually successful at wetting my delicate derriere.

It really isn't so bad until you realize you were halfway through happy bowel moments when it got liquefied by the churning that ends up looking like your mother's cooking. Then, like a land mine exploding in the toilet bowl; you get all your shit thrown back up your ass…

*A shit post for melly as promised! :D

2008-12-09T18:02:00.005+08:00

My gaze wanders to the clock ticking above, my eyes fixated on the movement of the hands. Every second ticking away fascinates me... I'm still in a daze after having awoke from a 22-23hour "nap".

The fact that Saltshakers Camp 2008 ended 32 hours ago hasn't quite hit home yet. The Committee has worked hard and I'm glad to say that the we hadn't worked for naught; our work in the past weeks leading up to the Fifth of December culminated in a final brouhaha on the final night!(I'm refering to the TalentNite haha) Thank you my sub-committee, the unsung heroes of the camp! I love you girls(insert lip action here* MUACKS! I hope I didn't steal your first kiss, ladies) Kudos to my wonderful campers and your great support and cheers! Sure, you guys may have complained about this and that - Don't think I don't know, in fact I also complained along with you guys =p

Eh I don't know what else to say la, still quite blur-blur. Uh you guys rock?
I sincerely hope this camp was THE CAMP OF THE YEAR for each and every one of you; and for veteran campers: Hope it lived up to the hype of R2ME2 Camp in 2005! If it didn't then not to worry, we would do an even better one next year!
The tsunami of words shall cease here, not!

Time.

It flies by so quickly.. but have you ever wondered how it even started? Who was that one person who came up with the '24 hours theory' when the entire globe was still in nascence. Whoever it was, I think it is a feat that is highly laudable.

Think back to the days where people used the sundial.. or even earlier when all that was different was the brightness of day and the darkness of night. How in the world did these people differentiate day from night?

Every continent of the world has different time zones. Who was it that determined Asia to be ahead of the countries in the West by a few hours? Ultimately, who decided that a single day has approximately 24 hours?

I doubt we’ll ever be able to fully comprehend the cycle and logic behind the essence of time. Too complex it may be, that we won't even bother baffling ourselves for the answer. But it remains fascinating nonetheless.

They say “time flies when you’re having fun”.. not entirely. We’re just so caught up in the moment of excitement that we become oblivious to everything else around us, just as it is when we’re bored to tears.. Time seem to torture our minds by coming to a standstill.

There is however, one single answer I seek for a debatable question..

Will time travel ever be possible?

If I ever had a superpower, I’d want one which would enable me to stop and travel through time at will (like Nakamura from HEROES). I swear it'd be totally awesome man!

Hmm anyway, after writing all these.. I honestly don’t have a clue as to what I'm trying to convey. It's just yet another random thoughts vomit; or how a certain Miss Shirley Chia would diagnose my post as verbal diarrhoea. Oh well, but you know I guess ultimately, although we don’t have the power to turn back time and undo the wrongs.. we do have the power in our hands to create and shape our own future.

And life’s really about cherishing the moments in life that will forever be etched in our hearts and minds.
Remember: It's not about the number of breaths you take, but really...the moments that take your breath away!

2008-11-25T23:46:00.001+08:00

I was just talking to a friend, saying how I almost cried while watching High School Musical 3. I know admitting that I actually watch the Disney show is quite gay, and even more embarrassing is the fact that it nearly made me tear.

For the record, I am NOT a cry baby okay.

Every time I watch a flick where the hero dies in some dramatic way with emotional music playing and the love of his life by his side begging him to hold on, I'll be like.. "Man, what a loser. Get on with it and die already!"..

Weirdly, I won't ever cry over something sad?

I get emotional over happy things. Like how a guy and a girl gets back together and live happily ever after, or when family/friends are reunited with their loved ones. I will especially be overwhelmed and start bawling in those "against-all-odds" kind of shows where the character or individual shows great strength in overcoming all the obstacles in life to triumph eventually.

And just so you know.. real men do shed tears.
Actually, I'm just trying to conceal my utter embarrassment to this confession.

2008-11-22T23:12:00.005+08:00

I swear, taxis are the devil in disguise. Every time I hop on one, I’m shortening my life span by a few years because my heart stops beating each time the price meter jumps at an unbelievably frightening rate!

Yet, they’re a lifesaver during moments when you’re extremely late for school, work or meetings with friends LOL! Again, I took a cab back this afternoon from Bukit Panjang to Punggol as I was lazy to take the bus home. I’ve probably minus-ed 10 years of my life savings in just these 4 days, shuttling between far flung locations like Revenue House and other meeting places situated at the North Pole, in those money-munching monsters.

Goodness, Singapore isn’t so “small” when you’re in a freaking taxi!

Anyway, I’m going to relate certain “chat/pick up lines” used by girls these days.

1) Girls when they’re together.

A: “Hey B, whats my handphone number ah?”
B will then shout it out loud. Its so obvious what they’re trying to do. But hey, its not as if the guy’s going to bother taking down your number (unless he is that desperate), in fact he’ll probably think you’re a complete ditz for not remembering your own contact number(LIKE SHIRLEY!! HAHA YOU RETARD!)

2) Girls will again linger around hoping the guy will make eye contact with them and when he does, they’ll smile at him. Or if they’re in groups, they will blatantly “dare” each other to talk to the guy. Then they’ll go squealing off as if they won the world cup. Or in worst case scenarios, they’ll simply go up to the guy and just ask for his number.

3) Girls will begin talking out loud nonsensically, deliberately making themselves an attention magnet. Admittedly, guys are always guilty of this as well.. doing stupid exaggerate things with the hopes of getting that certain person’s attention. Truth is, it's plain annoying, not cute.

4) They’ll go “old school” and slip you notes with little messages, signing off anonymously or leaving their email address. I personally think old school style is quite cute. In a generation of modern technology, anything that has that personal touch always adds that something different.

5) Some girls will hunt the guy down on friendster/facebook/blogs. There’s a high chance of finding that certain person online.. all you really need is the guy or girl’s name and school. And in Singapore, EVERYONE is somehow connected to each other.

Hmm… What kind of pick up line or method would YOU use if you want to get to know a certain person you're interested in?

2008-11-21T01:34:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been in a conversation with a new acquaintance, and after a few moments, start thinking to yourself: ‘Oh my gosh, this person and I think alike! It's as if we’re on the same wavelength!’. It’s such an awesome feeling finding someone like that, almost like falling in love.

Lovers call it “chemistry”. New friends will say it's “instant rapport”. Business people might term it “a meeting of minds”. Yet, it’s essentially the same magic, that sudden sense of warmth and closeness and that strong sensation as if you’ve been friends with this new stranger for a really long time.

Which made me think...

Remember how when we were children, making friends always seemed easy? Most of the kids we grew up and played with knew nothing much about the world yet, and thus all of us were practically on the same wavelength in our own sacred world, with only the interest of having fun with the people around.

Then as the years went by, we grew older, some of us even moved to new environments. And through those transitions in life, our backgrounds, experiences, goals, lifestyles.. everything became diverse. Each and every one of us developed a different notion of life, thus falling off the wavelength we shared in our childhood.

Now every time we meet someone new, we subconsciously have preconceived thoughts about them even before we get to know them. And chances always are, if two people don’t meet eye-to-eye, don’t share the same hobbies and interests, or in other words, are on completely different wavelengths.. that’s as far as the relationship goes.

Wouldn’t it be just great to have a magic surfboard that can help us hop right on the wavelength of any new individual we meet in our daily lives? Not to pre-judge them and distant ourselves just because of differences, but instead learn to accept new perspectives and make an effort to ride on that wavelength of another.

Just like when we were kids, where we could easily 'surf' with any new acquaintance.. as a friend.

Now through my short stint at an Agri-food and Veterinary Authority of Singapore Roadshow, I've come to know and grown close to some people whom I'd never thought of befriending. Bonds have been forged with a group of roadshow mates whom I rather affectionately call the cheenapok gang; it's amazing how everyone of us managed to fit in comfortably despite language medium differences.

Here's a shoutout to Junhao, Mengwee, Sarah, Joanna and last but not least Shirley. The awesome-st, sweet young lady ever. I'm only saying this 'cause I know you're gonna read it. Haha. Now it's time to keep to your side of the bargain! AND tomorrow's dinner your treat right ;)

2008-11-15T04:32:00.002+08:00

Girls these days are showing way too much skin. Not that I’m complaining, I believe in “flaunt it if you’ve got it”. Besides, if any guy seriously doesn’t do a double take at any girl who wears a little too little, he’s either attached to a damn lucky girl or he’s officially gay.

Now girls, before you start accusing guys of being perverts ogling you, be honest with yourself because I’m pretty certain your very intentions when picking your choice of clothes, is to be looked at.

But here’s the thing, where do you draw the line of decency?

I used to think miniskirts were quite an outrageous piece of clothing but apparently, the length of shorts girls put on these days are even way more revealing. I’ve got to say individuals who put on such shorts have a heck lot of guts! But girls, really, don’t you feel as if you’re walking about half naked?

I mean, the shorts you girls wear these days are literally challenging the definition of the word itself! And there are even those who wear like extremely short shorts under their already tiny dresses which makes them look as if they’ve got nothing on under the dress.

Seriously, don’t you feel as if you’re parading around in just your knickers? Isn’t it awkward having people stare at your body parts or are you secretly enjoying the attention? Why do you need to wear such non-existent clothing to flaunt your features (if you even have any to show in the first place) when a simple piece would do?

You may or may not know this but there are repercussions to your actions. You want to look sexy, but you might be attracting the wrong attention or be perceived as a slut. And hypothetically speaking (I really hope it won’t ever happen to anyone), if you get molested or worse, you too are at fault.

If being seen as someone hot in the eyes of the male population is your true intention, there are a lot of ways you can go about it, there are so many styles of dressing you can experiment with. Showing more skin doesn’t always equate to you being sexier. And just for the information of ignorant ones, showing your butt crack is disgusting!

If you were to ask me what I find sexiest about a girl, I’d say confidence. A girl who is able to carry herself really well, who is articulate and eloquent, who has her own style, simply a girl who knows who she is and proud of it... that’s sexy.

2008-11-07T23:40:00.006+08:00

I have just had the most horrible night possible. It is interesting, how your own body can defy your own wishes.
I spent the whole night willing myself to sleep, or at least for my eyes to close, so that they won't be so devastatingly dry. I think I fell into a stupor around 4 this morning, and awoke again at 6.

Since then, I've went running and come back and... No yeah, that's all I've done since 7 this morning. I feel uncommonly detached from everything today. I can't seem to really process what's going on around me. I hear music playing, but I can't tell what song it is. I hear people speaking to me, but it takes time for me to process what they say and who is speaking to me. I read a book, and the words enter my mind, but it doesn’t process. In less time than I take to churn out an essay, I've finished an entire new book, without an understanding on what the story is about.

Even now, while I'm sitting in front of my computer, I can't seem to feel. I don't know whether the air conditioner is on, I don't know what's going on outside. I just seem to be in a daze. Is this what not sleeping does to you? I feel so detached.

I tried to cry just now, just to see if I could. I know there are actors out there who can turn on the tears automatically, but that has always been one skill that escaped me. The most that I could do was maybe to make my eyes slightly moist. I can't do that even now.

Acting is an incredible skill. To replicate certain emotions, you turn inside yourself, and you invoke that particular feeling through situations that you have been in before. To be a performer, it is essential to have a passion for life, and to have an abundance of feelings to pull on. Thus naturally, artistes are people who have a flair for life and the dramatics.

I've always been someone who felt a lot. I can sympathize with almost anything. I am what you would call, emotionally receptive. I can't seem to feel anything now. I walk around, I converse, I make jokes, I laugh at the appropriate time, or when people laugh at some joke made. But I am so emotionally detached from everything. I feel slightly numb. Is that normal?

Oh god, I wish I could just get my eyes to close. Sleep is pretty much the thing I need the most right now. Do you know what it's like to go through the whole night not sleeping, and instead looking at your bedspread, the patterns, simply because you cant sleep? When was the last time you sat in bed unable to sleep, and see the light slowly come through your window?

Depressing. Really depressing, especially when all I want to do is sleep.

I feel like I'm blind sometimes, moving along by my sense of intuition alone. It is like I am reaching towards this big confusing whirlpool of lights and colors and sounds, stretching my fingers out as far as they can go. I am boldly yet tentatively feeling around me for another person's hand, just waiting to make a connection with someone. I know it probably sounds so ridiculous and laughable - maybe even pathetic - but I really just want to find that a sanctuary; I want to come home.

Here's a quote which truly sums up what love is.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...

You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like "maybe we should be just friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love."

The Sandman- Neil Gaiman (thank you Janice for the quote)

Love is, weakness.

It makes one vulnerable to all kinds of unpleasant scenarios and emotions. Love is an open wound that exposes you to all sorts of germs and bacterium, all ready to attack you. Instead of micro-organisms, it is doubt and uncertainty that attacks you. Bringing you down, down to your knees.

Love, can do the most epic things, at both ends of the spectrum. Immobilize a whole forward-surging army or to move a mountain. It brings us to do great things, or could just lead us on the trail towards nothingness. Nothing but pure heartache and pain.

Love makes people change. Change although being almost inevitable, is not something constant when it comes to human character. It wants to make you dream big, think about the future. Just that these dreams and aspirations aren't selfish and you must share it with that special someone. Selflessness is a total defiance against you. Once again, an act of weakness, brought about by love.

So... love really is a weakness.

I’ll let this city burn as everyone sleeps, so that we could be alone, together.

2008-11-03T02:56:00.003+08:00

It's almost 3am now but I can't seem to get to sleep. I guess it's alright though, because in the stillness of night and early morning, that's when I'm truly at peace with myself, and with the world.

Everything is so quiet and tranquil. The calming silence so still, it's almost as if I can reach out and grab it in my hand. But no matter how hard I try to grab it, it always escapes my grasp.

Wisps of air so fragile, so endearing to the touch, yet so brittle. So liberating, yet its something that can only be felt by one when the soul is vulnerable and completely naked to the world. But many a times, we block out many things. People, feelings, emotions.. just so we can feel safe.

We become hardened and tough; essential in this world where harm is rampant. But in doing so, we hurt countless people along the way. We push them aside, brush them off, yell at them. Yet most of them come in peace, willing to bear their soul to us, to help us even.

But because of the lies and hurt we've been through, we misjudge them and perceive them as a threat. I admit, I am like that. I find it hard to trust people and I do know that has inevitably hurt some people.

I also find it hard to be completely honest with people. Not that I don't want to, but because.. well, just because. The only time I can be really honest with myself, is at night. When everyone is asleep and the harsh glare of light is absent..

When the calming night air permeates my soul and releases me from the things I fear about. Free from the clutches of fear.. and being totally able to be myself.

No lies. No fears. No tears.

Just for those few hours, and everything will be alright. Those few precious hours when I have all the time to myself, away from everyone else. The hours that brings memories rushing back, and just for that short period, time stops, and I relieve everything.

Knowing that time cannot bring back those memories, that no matter how hard I try, it's all in the past and never to return again. Knowing that one day, everything I know, everyone I have come to love and treasure, will ultimately disappear.

And the only thing that will stay, are the very memories that we share. Materialistic things, as beautiful as they are to hold in your hand, they too, will ultimately go away. But memories stay. In our heads, in our hearts where no-one can taint it.

Where no-one can taint the moments that we spent with the people around us. And while memories may fade away, they never really disappear. Just hidden away, waiting for the right moment to appear once again.

If you ever see me sitting quietly by myself, perhaps with my eyes closed, just leave me for alone for awhile and I will be eternally grateful to you.

2008-11-02T00:26:00.003+08:00

I am a lot more innocent than people would think. And I think people who are really close to me would know that. Is it my demeanor? The way I walk, the way I talk? What?

I know the looks that other people give me when they see me. I can tell what they're thinking by their looks alone. It's just plain weird! Of course, it’s not like I care. When they're introduced to me, it's always the same thing. They start out awkward, and wary of me, but then when I start talking, they change. And more often than not, these people become my friends, and tell me, 'You know, you're totally different from the person I thought you were.'

I'm told that I just look very intimidating, and well, for lack of a better word, cocky(Anyway more on the "C" word later on). Is it true? But I'm nice, and friendly! Really friendly!

Oh well. I am resigned to the superficial nature of human beings. I included of course. No judgment here.

The conversation below really happened on S'pore radio recently.
DJ : Good morning.. This is Power 98 & do you want to play a game?

Contestant : Yeah, why not.

DJ : Good. It is a simple game. When I say something you have to give an answer that is opposite to what I have said. For example, when I say Sharp, you have to answer Blunt. OK?

Contestant : OK.

DJ : Sun
Contestant : Moon.

DJ : Black
Contestant : White.

DJ : Tall
Contestant : Short.

DJ : Man
Contestant : Woman

DJ : Cock
Contestant : CHEEBYE

DJ : These things sometimes happen and we are on live. Let's take a commercial break here.

The answer should be "Hen". Somebody tell that to the dumb Singaporean...

2008-10-29T17:49:00.001+08:00

It's starting off like any other day. I am a sucker for routine. I made sure it was coffee- freeze dried, that started off the day. The same amount everyday. A three-two ratio (3:2) between coffee and sugar, just that the coffee was heaped and sugar, level. It's been the same everyday, ever since I acquired the taste for coffee, and caffeine being the drug it is, has incorporated itself without invitation into my everyday routine.

I am a sucker for routine (as I've said before) but I am more fond though of repeating myself, repeatedly. I(or rather my sub-conscious self) like to ensure that I repeat the things I say, repeating my points, repeating my jokes, repeating my everyday actions and even repeating my mistakes.

Repeating my mistakes.

Repeating my mistakes, that's probably the worst constituent of this quirk that I have. The rest are all just peculiar but this one, this gem here, has made me lose something really important to me. I am not sure if my habitual repeating is due to a short term memory or just plain stupidity but let's just say in this world we live in, it's very hard to get things in it's pure form. So yes, it's a combination of both.

Anyway, let's just leave that aside and get back to the reason why I am speaking about my day. This is because as the hands on the clock make a full seven hundred and twenty degree rotation, it would be the most exciting day I have ever lived. I am breaking out of routine. Getting out of the mould.

I am going to run away.

Okay. Maybe running away is too intense for two words to handle. I have never been really good at rephrasing but let's just say I am taking a break from the world. A break from the world that's been doing nothing nice but breaking my heart and me. I want to use this as an excuse to take my heart, like a pet on a walk. An extended walk. A really long walk, beyond national boundaries.

Yup, no need for a double take. I'm fleeing and the red, soft cover of a passport warrants enough evidence of my intentions. I never meant for it to happen now actually but it's just that I have let enough people down and if I do actually stick around, scores more would follow. So, never mind the utterly ridiculously important examinations which my right hand and left brain have been arduously preparing for. Expectations are not meant to be met.

I am severing all ties with the world. All my possessions are would be up for grabs. Just to side track a bit. Come over to get them if you're interested, just don't take my little blue box of letters and please do tell my parents what you're taking. Come only, after two or three weeks. By then they would have gotten over the initial shock and come to comprehend over my actions. It will save you all a great lot of trouble and from having to answer compromising questions. I think you would appreciate this more than I would. I do not want to trouble you, my friends.

This may sound like I’m inching closer to death but rest assured my friends, there would be no loss or taking of lives. So rest assured but do keep me in your prayers, amongst other important petitions.

I am committed to doing this. So committed I am to break out of routine that I have decided to travel in a clockwise manner (towards the west). With unreliable knowledge, I figured that the earth spun (tilted at 27.5 degrees) in an anti-clockwise manner. So yes, I decided that I might as well do the opposite.

After all, I am aiming to go against the world right?

2008-10-27T15:59:00.003+08:00

I am a slave to my books. Its pages dictate my life.

I need to study. Really hard. The crunch is here. My stomach churns every time I realise how important my 'A' Levels are. It is really, the whole embodiment of my academic journey. Plus, having me wasted a year already, this counts even more and "You better not screw up after all these years ah!" just rings in my head constantly. I must admit that I have backslide throughout these last two years at school, I entered being really fiery about my studies and I set myself high standards. I guess it was through my performance in the first few months that I managed to get to Cambridge. It's ironic because I think Cambridge broke my momentum but I don't want to blame anything or anybody, it really does boil down to me anyway. However, I'm feeling the drive coming back to me. Can't wait for it to be over, then it'll be the Canadian ski trip and flying to Indonesia in Singapore colours to compete (I'm currently placed 6th in the Under-21 category, in S.E.A Hooray!) before enlistment. Okay, I'm not looking forward to army life. How regimented and mundane; I'm infamous for always getting into trouble with authority.

Right now, I hate being unoccupied because having nothing to do only causes me to think. Although I don't think as intensely as the previous times, it's still there and it tightens the immediate peripheral area surrounding my heart and making it constricted.

My heart can't beat the way it wants to. I have found myself trying to make myself happy lately, finding various ways to amuse myself. I have not done this in awhile, I've realized. This is because I had a constant source of ever flowing happiness, like a well dug into an artesian aquifer. At least, the happiness is on a hiatus.

I'm relieved, but what worries me, is that I would lose it. Losing it would cause the sky to go bleak, for birds to lose their bearings, to fall out of my sky and on to the pavement to serve as reminders. Reminders of how flight can be taken away from them like how everything else could be taken away from us if we're careless. I mustn't be careless; I must not let my guard down. I have constantly said and even promised to become a better person, to rectify my faults.

I must admit, I have said this on a whim, while looking for a quick solution. That's me- always looking for the quick fix-it and not looking at the real root. This time, I want to be committed to change; I can't make her angry anymore. I have got to be sensitive towards how other people feel. This is ridiculous; it's like pulling stones from out of mid air and just tripping over them after they fall onto the ground. I am creating my own problem. I am ridiculous and all these nonsense has got to stop. I have to be patient, for time is of the essence. Every minute that passes by, I hope has a remedying effect. Please Lord, I hope this time is not wasted and that I think really very hard, about the person I want to be.

Oh no, I've said too much. Just needed the reprieve.

2008-10-24T16:47:00.005+08:00

Emotions and moods.

These are the very spoilers that destroys a relationship.. It’s essentially either the mood of wanting to be left alone or just wishing at times, of having someone there to accompany you, to talk, or just having her lay her head on your shoulder for comfort.

Sometimes, I just want to be by myself. The selfish ol' guy with no concerns in the world; with just plain narcissism to boot instead. I call it freedom, people call it bachelorhood, mother-in-laws call it inability to initiate a marriage proposal. Haha..

But yet, there are occasions where I wish there was someone there beside me -someone close, to hug, caress or hold a hand. Affection and warmth. Just to be cuddly. Emotions are weird!

Anyway, i think i need to find an activity partner; we can do sports or any other form of crazy things with..!

Maybe even shopping..! Like go on a journey to hunt down all places of good buys! Shopping partner, anyone? I say amen to discounts and marked-down prices!

I NEED AN ACTIVITY BUDDY!!!

This is one of my favourite poems by William Shakespeare.
Justin's sidenote: Shakespeare is a fine example of how one man can immortalize himself. And cause immense suffering to Literature students hundreds of years after he's dead.

Sonnet 130

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

Sassy eh? Teasing.
I've always like romantic poems, but this one just stuck with me.
It didn’t have the usual mushy stuff, but it pokes fun at his love. It's amazing how he can turn everything around with one verse though. It goes from funny to romantic in an instant.

Oh, I love it.

There's another of Shakespeare's sonnets that I love too. Strictly romantic, but that shall be kept to myself. Way too mushy. Reduces me to a gooey puddle.

I was going through my notebooks. Can you believe that I still have my notebooks dating all the way back to 2003?

Haha. The crap that I came up with man. Making up time lines when I was bored. Writing poems, short stories. It's entirely no surprise that my teachers were always reprimanding me for not paying attention in class.

Anyway, I was looking through my notebooks, and saw this phrase I wrote down in 2006. Don't remember who it came from, but it reflects on everything that I've done in life. And now at the crossroads of my life, this phrase comes back to haunt me.

Be great in act, as you have been in thought.

For such a short phrase, it packs a lot of power, don't you think?

Nonetheless, I will LEARN to love you, English Literature.

2008-10-18T18:11:00.003+08:00

"1..2..3..4..5!! Eh that piece of food dropped on the floor more than 5 seconds already, cannot eat..!"

I'm sure many have heard something like this before. Or maybe you are one of those preaching such a rule yourself, but perhaps changing it to the 7-second rule instead. 2 more seconds to grab that food bit; well done!

But is there any evident truth to it? (I've always thought its ridiculous)

In this present day and age you would probably just Google "food 5-second rule". That's what I did (my utmost gratitude to the nerds who invented the Internet!), and I shockingly discovered that it is apparently true. In a study, food picked up E.coli bacteria only after 5 seconds.

So I guess the 5 seconds rule actually holds true.

However, think about this for a moment.. if food picks up E.coli from a clean and disinfected floor, then why not our plates and tables? And why not every other freaking surface on this planet? Why not from the atmosphere too while I'm at it? Have you just realized how redundant this rule is?

My advice to you is this, if you really want to eat something off the floor, just do it because you won't die from it and you'll satisfy your warped craving. While you're worrying about the E.coli on the floor, the E.coli on your plate is rolling all over your food.

If you are really afraid of 5 more seconds of E.coli, you might as well stop eating. Then you'd die looking like Lindsay Lohan.. and that's a lot worse than food poisoning.

Since I'm onto food here, let me recount this experience I had while I was eating out. So I was eating at this restaurant recently and while I got my food fast, my friend was left waiting till I was almost done with my whole set meal before his was served.

One of the things I absolutely hate is waiting hours for my food, I like it pronto. And for the record, I’ve been losing my appetite and eating A LOT slower (which is totally unacceptable) these days. So anyway, when his food finally came, I remarked to him that I was lucky not to have ordered his item because it took so damn long...

Guess what?

For no apparent reason whatsoever, the eavesdropping waitress serving the food turned to give me a very dirty look, akin to one where I’ve just called her a "nasty bitch with smelly unshaven armpits"..

Naturally I wasn't very happy that someone had taken offence with my casual remark and given me such a look. In the first place, there was nothing wrong with my remark (not as if I commented out loud that the waitress had hairy armpits. I don't go sniffing or looking up people’s sleeves), because the food was truly slow to come!

And! Since we’re on the subject of E.coli.. my friend's food probably picked up like 20 more minutes of the bacteria during the wait! That's 240 times more than the acceptable limit! We should be filing a bloody law suit for goodness sake! Bitchy waitress aside, we passed by an ice-cream store after, displaying this huge sign proclaiming their desserts to be "94% fat-free!". My friend then remarked that it probably only means that the last 6% is pure fat. So true.

Well, I honestly don't care much about carbs or the need to diet, watch what I eat, etc. because (un)fortunately, I'm one of those born to endorse slimming centres. In other words, no matter how much I eat or want to, i’ll never seem to grow fat..

That said.. bring on the E.coli anytime!

2008-10-15T22:23:00.001+08:00

So I’ve received feedback from some regarding the way I look. But that’s really alright because I’ve taken no offence to those criticisms. In the same way I’m always checking out and “analyzing” people, you have the right to make your own judgments.

No one was ever born perfect. Secretly, we all wish we were taller, slimmer, and prettier, had bigger eyes, had straighter teeth, etc. We look up to those models splashed across advertisements and compare ourselves with them, making us feel inwardly inadequate and ashamed of the way we look.

Blame the media for setting the stereotypical benchmark. We now define all outward and superficial aspects as a mark of beauty. Have you ever wondered how we’d actually perceive beauty if the media chose to instead glamorize average looking people?

It’s a blessing to be beautiful. Good looking people always enjoy the perks in life. It’s a fact. Often, they are the most popular, one every other person would love to date and they somehow never fail to have things their way.

I’ll give you an illustration..

Let’s say you were text messaging and some idiot bumps into you resulting in your phone crashing onto the pavement. Instinctively, you’d want to swear and demand some form of compensation. If that person was average looking or ugly, you’d certainly let fly your fury.

But what if that same idiot was the hottest looking hunk or babe you’ve ever met in your life? You’d obviously go all jelly and tell him/her that its alright even though your phone has clearly been smashed to bits.

Now I’m not trying to condemn good looking people. Thing is, we’re all meant to be different. Some are born good looking, wealthy, intelligent, while majority of us are just “normal”. I admit to being normal. But the difference between me and you (those who criticize me) is the fact that I'm happy being who I am.

So what if I don’t have the best of looks? I am just grateful for the fact that I wasn’t born deformed, that I have a healthy functioning body. I don’t need good looks to go on living, and I certainly don’t need them to please anyone.

There is a cliché that true beauty lies within.

A cliché which I’ve discovered to be true. There are some people who might not exactly grab your attention with the way they look at first glance, but somehow attract you with their personality and through the course of knowing them, you discover their true beauty that is, who they are.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are individuals I know who simply are drop dead gorgeous, but have an attitude that stinks. Let’s just say they know of their empowerment and abuse it by manipulating those who are blindly captivated by their good looks. But hey, there are obviously the genuinely nice ones as well..

My point is, looks are superficial which will eventually die over time. It is who you are as a person that defines your true beauty. Although I still judge people based on first impressions, I’ve now learnt to find the good in them and accept them for who they are..

Everyone is special in their own unique ways. It is our imperfection that makes us different. Just think, if we were all flawless, we’d be nothing more than a bunch of manufactured clones, there’d be nothing to define us.

To me, a stunningly beautiful person is one who glows with optimism and confidence, who is secure with him or herself and is content with their life, finding happiness where it is, and not looking where it cannot be found. Simply put, beauty is not just in the face, but a light in the heart..

I've got a little question for you..
What to you defines true beauty?
What makes you feel beautiful?

Do share your thoughts

2008-10-13T22:45:00.001+08:00

Morning bus rides to school can annoy you to no end. Sometimes you'd just be overwhelmed with this incredible urge to kill some inconsiderate assholes. But I chuckled at a new random thought as I watched commuters grinding against each other on the packed bus this morning..

Taking a morning bus is almost like going to a club party.

Everyone forms a long line outside the doors wanting to get into the “club" while a mosh pit goes on inside with Ah Ma(s) grinding young boys and what not. The "bouncers" though, aren’t the ones standing at the door..

They're the bloody assholes standing inside the bus refusing to move to the rear which inevitably limits the number of commuters that can get on at subsequent stops. I swear, if I had a gun, I’ll really shoot those people!

It's like, there you are at the bus stop looking at time tick away and the possibility of you being late for school if the bus doesn’t turn up in the next few minutes. Then from the distance, you spot that good old' familiar vehicle turning round the corner and you scream "hallelujah!"..

But the bus drives on and as it passes, you notice that while people at the front are so squashed against the front door, the rear of the bus has ALOT of standing space. Why? Blame the bloody "bouncer(s)", they're doing a damn good job..

In contradiction, if you're already in the bus, you'd want to kiss these bouncers because they are the ones who ensure the bus never stops but zooms pass every other stop.

Anyway, lets go back into the club.. By that I mean the bus of course. Its like a mosh pit in there and I shall practice censorship by not detailing the things that goes on in a morning bus. Hmm anyway, in all club parties, the star attraction is usually the deejay spinning the night's music..

In the bus, that superstar deejay is the bus captain. In clubs, people will start cheering and dancing when the DJ spins a hit song.. on the bus, everyone will silently cheer and start moving when the bus captain stands up and screams "PLEASE MOVE TO THE REAR!"..

Then, the fun and party finally ends when the bus reaches the stop where majority of commuters alight. But hey, there's always the next morning… every morning.

For the most happening party for people of all ages, races, genders.. Hop on to your next morning bus turning round the corner!

2008-10-09T19:54:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered why some people are always permanently away, busy, or never online on MSN? Have you also realised that sometimes, the status on one's MSN is no longer indicative of whether the person will chat with you?

After doing some research, (aka spending hours online not doing anything very productive) I have decoded the complex meaning of what MSN statuses really mean..

Online
I'm in a friendly mood now.

It means the person will probably chat with anybody, including people they don't like. However, when such people approach the subject, he/she will suddenly become "busy" or "away", or will "be right back". In extreme cases, the subject will "appear offline", and then continue chatting with those they want to chat with. This status has no filtering effect, so prepare to be chatted up by random idiots.

Busy
I am currently busy with an assignment, work or project meeting of some kind. However, only people who know me well enough will know that even if I'm busy I will still chat with you.

Hence this keeps out those random idiots. Alternatively, one could genuinely be busy. But if you really are busy, you wouldn't even be on MSN. So are you really busy? Hmmm..

Be Right Back
I need to do something and I will be back soon.

However, soon ranges from a few seconds to infinity, with infinity probably meaning "see you in school tomorrow!". Personally I find this one of the most irritating status, because the people with this status usually forgets to indicate that they are back. So it becomes "I'll be right back but you won't know when that is so bye!"..

Away
I am currently not at my computer.

Used most by serial downloaders who are online 24/7. This is also a stronger filter than "busy". Because unlike "busy", one can actually claim that he/she wasn't at the computer when some swaku tries to chat him/her up. For busy you may not be able to, because you were there but merely busy. You actually have to put some filler text like"sorry I'm busy now can't talk"..

Out to lunch
More or less a redundant status.

If you were really out to lunch, you could simply use "away", "appear offline" or just sign out. People only display this when they want to be away and yet different from others. Note: It looks like away but its"out to lunch". Now that's something extra indeed..

Appear offline

The best status in the world, and my personal favorite because it is so useful. This is used by people who checks who is online before deciding what status to give themselves when they come online. Secondly, it is used as a filter of all system. People can't talk to you, but you can talk to people. It totally eliminates any chances of stalkers, weirdos, and other random idiots talking to you.

By the way, I'm always OFFLINE on MSN more so because I'm probably only online for a couple of minutes at each time anyway.. so I figured its really pointless appearing online, start talking to friends then having to say "I've gotta go" after a few lines exchanged..

Decoding MSN statuses is an art.
Do it well and you'll always have (no) friends to talk to online!

Anyway here's something amusing I found on the Internet today:

DoTA Prayer: (Pray after every game)
Dear GODLIKE,
Thank you for OWNING me another day
May all the WICKED sick be healed by your DOMINATING touch
May your PERSEVERENCE be present
MORNING TAVERN until DAWN TAVERN
May you increase our CRITICAL to LUCIFER
and damage his armor with your DIVINE RAPIER
We are sorry if we BACKSTAB you
Send your GUARDIAN ANGEL to save us
May you continue to bring us UNSTOPPABLE blessings
and fill our hearts with TARRASQUE
Look beyond it as blasphemous; but through a light hearted perspective instead.
KUDOS.

2008-10-07T22:15:00.001+08:00

Friends drift apart all the time. Groups of friends you might have known from childhood, secondary school, college or universities will dwindle over time, for varied reasons. You could be the “best of friends”, sharing personal secrets and hanging out almost everyday but become complete strangers the very next moment..

People change, situations occur.

Sometimes, some friendships are really not meant to last. I personally don’t believe in the whole “best friends forever” nonsense. It’s a childish fantasy which one will only look back on with regret when things don’t work out..

I don’t believe in ever doing a kiss-and-tell either. Even though friendships may not always have a happy ending (due to a multitude of reasons), their past values should never be negated.

Occurrences may happen during the course of friendship and people might eventually drift apart, but the secrets and memories shared should always remain special. It's stupid to deny the value of a friendship just because it ends. More importantly, one should never torch or rudely disrespect another just because they no longer fit into your current life.

Friendship is really just one of those indefinable words that mean different things to different people at different times. Most friendships are transient, they come and go with time and place..

But to a large extent, we are a sum total of all our friendships, past and present, mixed together with our own peculiar personality. Every single person we’ve met along the way, no matter how long we’ve known them or how much we’ve shared during those times, have definitely made us who we are today in little ways we might not even have realized ourselves..

A day will come though, where you find yourself less than eager to find time for that friend or even your other half (if you’re in a relationship). When you ever feel that way, it’s an indication of what is about to end..

A very simple explanation is this.. people change, priorities change, age changes, we ourselves change. All plays have an ending, some plays are short, some are a bit longer, but every one of them has to let the curtains fall eventually..

We meet new people everyday. Acquaintances may turn into friends, friends may turn into strangers. But all these people are there for a reason.. they give meaning and often leave an impact at various stages of our lives..

Friendships may not always last forever.
But it’s these memories that do.

2008-10-06T18:07:00.001+08:00

Here's the second installment to the 20-QUESTIONS POST!

#12: Do you have a crush on one of your current schoolmate?

I don’t know. I really don’t. It’s a - I have a bit of feelings for her yet not to an extent of having a crush sort of feeling. A crush is when somehow I just know I really like someone.

#13: Would you ever go out on a date with a girl who asks you out?

I’ll definitely agree to go out if she’s someone I know. But I’ll only ever consider it a date when and if I have feelings for the girl I’m going out with. Otherwise, it’s just hanging out and spending time with a friend.

#14: Do you think that love can exist without selfishness, jealousy, fights, quarrels, and most importantly, sex?
&
#15: Can everyone co-exist with everyone else peacefully? Is it really that easy to get along with somebody?

I really believe that love can exist without sex. Sex is just a process of reproduction. Sex is just an act of lust. As for selfishness, jealousy, fights and quarrels, a couple’s relationship will only grow stronger when they go through such times together and better learn about one another. Love is about accepting someone despite their flaws and always wanting the best for him/her. So sometimes, that results in quarrels. Fights may not always be a bad thing.
It’s not easy to get along with anyone. Some people are just assholes no matter how hard you try to work your differences out. So no, it’s quite impossible for everyone to co-exist peacefully. We can only hope that the leaders of whichever country aren’t assholes themselves. Getting along with anyone takes effort. Always try to look at their strengths rather than their weaknesses and learn to appreciate them for who they are. If they insist or ever start bitching about you, let them be. You don’t have to degrade yourself to their level. You can never please the whole world, don’t try.

#16: What about a girl turns you off/on and why?

A turn off..

1) Any girl who swears or has frequent bitch fits
2) Always doing or saying things just to attract attention
3) Thinks she knows every damn thing
4) Flirts with people just to get her way
5) Talks or writes in the cutesy twits lingo
6) Girls who always do the whole reverse psychology and gets pissed off when they don’t get the response they were hoping for (i.e "I think im fat.. am I?". If you think you're fat, you are! Don’t ask!).
7) Girls who tries too hard be sexy when they really shouldn’t cross the line of decency
8) Speaks with a really fake wannabe-ish accent
9) When she's drunk
10) Airheads.

A turn on..

1) Exudes confidence but not arrogance
2) Articulate and eloquent
3) Has her own special dress sense/style
4) Has that bit of demure nature about her?
5) When she smiles (then again, its subjective)
6) Intellectual, tactful, sweet
7) Plays hard to get (but it’s not cool when it’s overdone or when she's just misleading the poor dude)
8) A girl one can have a meaningful conversation with
9) Independent, yet somewhat vulnerable and innocent
10) If she meets at least 7 out of the 10 things I defined that makes a girl hot

#17: Who do you think (of the current people you know) best fits the bill of your ideal girlfriend?

Shannon and Tze Tsian. Actually, it's more like Shannon as the ideal girlfriend and Tze Tsian as the ideal future wife. Haha! But i'm not ready or interested in getting attached at the moment.

#18: Name 5 things you'd like to change about yourself.

1) I wish I was built bigger. I've always wanted to be at least 75kg. (Which works out to be an impossible 14kg more to pile on, baby!)
2) I wish I was born naturally smart. The don’t-really-study-yet-ace-papers sort.
3) I wish I'd not be so critically judgmental all the time.
4) I wish I had some dress sense.
5) I'd want to be a better Christian, one who is more connected with God.

#19: What are the qualities you look for in friendships?
I've often talked about friendship in previous entries and I will continue to in future ones. So I'll just tell you what to me, is the most important quality in friendships.. trust.

#20: Do you believe in love at first sight?
I don’t. You may be attracted to a person’s image, but you can never call it love. Everyone shouldn’t use the word “love” so loosely.

#21: Would you rather a flat or voluptuous girlfriend?
I personally find this question redundant. But if you must know, I honestly don’t care. I like athletic girls and they usually aren't very well endowed. So, it doesn't matter.

#22: What to you is your ideal marriage lifestyle?
Ideal marriage would be one where my wife and I will always be completely honest, trust and love each other unconditionally comewhatmay. In terms of lifestyle, it would be a lifetime of joy and happiness doing things with the family. Having a boy and a girl would be perfect.

2008-10-01T22:34:00.006+08:00

It’s so unfair that many chose to sign off anonymously… But okay due to the constant stream of questions, I’ll answer not just the first 20, but every single one that’s posted before I actually start replying them. Anything goes. But this is going to be the first and last time I’ll ever do something as crazy as a public confession.

I'm going to start answering all the questions some of you have asked. This feels like some sort of interview man. But I must admit there are a couple that actually got me thinking (and laughing out loud even); so much so that I wont reply all 20 at a go, probably a few at a time as I ponder on some of those thought provoking questions. You still can continue to ask if you want to though.

#1: What are the physical appearances of a girl that attracts you?

What are the physical attributes that attracts me to a girl? Hmm firstly, I’d like to make it clear that I’m not going to try being politically correct on this one. I’m just giving my straight up answer to what I think defines a girl’s hotness based solely on outward appearances.

1) Someone with long hair. Admittedly, girls with shoulder-length hair or longer tend to catch my attention. I think a girl should always keep her hair long simply because it portrays a feminine look.

2) Captivating eyes. Anyone without glasses always looks better, but I find any girl who puts on colored contacts, a HUGE turn off. It’s so ah-lian like. A girl who’s eyes sort of naturally lights up is hot.

3) Smile. Some girls just have that killer smile which gets me all smitten. It’s the really sweet yet innocent kind of smile. Not the come-and-get-me sort.

4) Athletic physique. Or it simply means, a tone, worked-out body. To me, legs are one of the sexiest parts of a girl’s body. Did I mention I like girls with abs too?

5) Sports a little tan. Between a fair skinned and a tanned girl, the latter wins hands down. But not the chao-ta dark, just a little bit of tan from the sun. I hate girls who whine about the sun.

6) Tall. She has to be at least 1.65m?

7) Flawless complexion. I guess that alone explains it.

8) Well trimmed nails. Strangely, I find girls with long finger nails quite disgusting? For me, a girl who doesn’t trim her nails neatly automatically plummets down the hot factor scale. Nail polish too, gosh. Some colors freak me out.

9) Accent. Any girl who speaks with a hint of genuine British or American accent is damn sexy! But not when it’s overdone or when she fakes an accent. Radio/on-stage voice and an everyday conversation accent are two different things all together.

10) Face. She has to be pretty; duh. For definition of pretty, ask any other guy.

#2: What do you usually think about when you're alone and it's quiet and it's dark?

I think about the day that has passed, I think about life ahead, I think about the people around me. Sometimes in solitude, depressing thoughts do weigh me down but then again there are many times I remember the moments and people that made me smile and I’d just feel grateful.

#3: Do you agree with this.. guys like to look and talk about hot girls but actually, they're most likely to fall for ordinary average looking girls.

I don’t agree with the way the question is phrased. It makes guys seem incapable and it makes those average looking girls seem like a mere second best. Guys and girls both check out hot people all the time. I reckon the only reason why hot people exist is to be looked at. What makes people fall in love though, are the qualities inside.. that’s where true beauty lies, looks don’t last forever.

#4: What are the qualities you look for in people; the 'otherwise i can't get along with you' kinda qualities.

I’ll give you one.. being real. I don’t think I can get along with anyone who puts on a facade their whole life. Given that you might feel inferior or inadequate sometimes but I personally respect a person who recognizes and admits their flaws (yet wants to be better) a lot more than one who fakes being someone else they’re not.

#5: Would you like to be buried or cremated?

Haha what a random question.. but when I'm dead, it matters little what happens to my body. What matters most is where I’ll end up spiritually.

#6: Have you had more hits or misses in life?

You know the weird thing about the misses in life, is that it always somehow leads to something better. I’ve missed out on a whole lot of opportunities and I’ve failed many times in my life. But everything happens for a reason. Not doing a particular thing or failing to achieve that something actually opens many other doors of opportunities and realization. I guess at the end of the day, it’s really about treating everything as a learning journey and finding joy in doing whatever it is you’re doing. With regards to the question, I can’t give a definite gauge, but many misses have turned into hits and has made me who I am today.

#7: List 2 guys you would fall in love with in your school and why?

The structure of the question implies the notion or possibility of me admitting to being gay if such is the case right? Haha good trick question. But no, I will never ever in my life, fall in love with a guy.

#8: Why do you always need some time out alone and not share your problems with friends?

I was born a thinker and I pretty much grew up an independent loner most parts of my early years. So even though I know that my friends are always there for me, many times I just need to sort out my thoughts and emotions on my own. More often than not, I’ll come out all better again after some soul searching. My closest friends understands me best and never do they probe when they know I’m not emotionally well, they’re just always there no matter what and I do tell them my problems eventually. I just need alone time every once in a while to reflect. Everyone does.

#9: Introduce your family?

I have a father, mother, and two younger siblings (sister and brother). I choose not to write about them because too many random people read my blog and I want to protect the privacy of my family. The one thing that will really ever piss me off is when someone starts insulting my family. I don’t want to risk letting that happen.

#10: What did you have for dinner exactly 2 weeks ago from today?

I do not usually make it a point to remember trivialities. My daily diet intake is varied. Besides, the only time I watch what I eat is the period before my races.

#11: What good qualities do you think your friends see in you?
Hmm.. this is something I’d actually like to know myself. I’ll repost this question on a separate post one day. But regardless of the good or not so good qualities, I know that my friends still accept me for who I am.

And there you have it! SOME burning questions answered...

2008-09-28T19:17:00.002+08:00

There was a spate of articles in the papers recently about how ‘indecent’ the salaries were of religious group leaders, and their involvement in businesses. You can read here, here and here.

For better or worse, the conduct of various charities and religious organisations have been put under the microscope because of the NKF scandal. Most recently, we saw how the CEO of Ren Ci Hospital, the Venerable Shi Ming Yi, was accused of misusing donations. The need for charities to be above-the-board, whiter-than-white in their wheeling and dealing is a must, since they are using public funds. And, for the longest of time, they were operating with very little oversight or questioning by the public till the NKF scandal opened the can of worms.

Now, with news of mega churches involved in businesses, I suspect another round of questioning will arise. “As poor as the church mouse”, goes the idiom. Obviously, it doesn’t really hold true today. However, is it right for the public to expect religious (all religions, not just Christianity) leaders to be ‘poor’, or at least appear to be poor? Is it fair?

People like to quote ‘money is the root of all evil’, without realising they are actually mis-quoting the Bible. Actually, it reads ‘For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.’ (1 Timothy 6:10) Money in itself is amoral. But, when greed comes into the picture, problem arise. If you examine the recent scandals we have with charities, essentially it is a problem of greed.

Too much money is a problem. On the other hand, too little money is a problem. One of the letters to the forum quoted (again) from the Bible of the example of the Levites. The Levites were supposed to be the priests to the people of Biblical Israel. While the Levites looked after the spiritual well-being of the Israelites, in return the Israelites look after the physical well-being of the Levites. The Levites were forbidden to own any riches. The writer to the forum implored the religious leaders to follow the example of the Levites and be poor.

Do you think the writer has a point? Is it feasible?

2008-09-26T21:36:00.004+08:00

Week's been pretty exciting... Thankfully, I've been spared from the humdrum that has plagued 18/19 year old students as they hit revision top-gear in what is arguably the most demanding and rigorous curriculum: The GCE "A" Levels.

Oh bother, the monotony of mugging.

I'm just not cut out for mugging. I have the attention span of a cockroach. Shucks..

You see, I very nearly pulled off a "Hwa Chong" Round 2 on board service number 157 towards Boon Lay.

This time round however, instead of the bus driver, I was the unfortunate target of a pugnacious, wrinkly cretin bearing some semblance of a middle-aged chinese male.

I would have assaulted him if I wasn't in uniform.

His truculence got me on the defensive at first but it soon gave way to unbridled fury...

I was visibly shagged after P.E ("Crawled" 28 rounds under the scorching hot,overhead sun as punishment for being defiant to the teacher. He's just jealous I'm younger, faster and better-looking than him.) so I'm certain I did NOTHING to invoke the ire of the unreasonable beast.

Just as I plonked myself on the seat, he shouted : "WHY!" at me.

Everyone onboard fell silent, averting their eyes away from the brouhaha.

Quizzically, I asked him : "Huh, what why?"

"Why?! You shut up,you.. Shut your lip", bellowed the buffoon.

At this point, I was feeling indignant. So I stared him straight in the eye but said nothing.

He smirked.

I smiled devilishly. And shot him a hostile glare.

With that, puny limbs sprouted from his deformed torso, reaching for his cheap umbrella.

My suspicions of him being speech-impaired were confirmed when he mumbled rather incoherently about giving me a good beating 10 times over?

I goaded him on by showing him this:

Why show one middle finger when you can show FIVE?! Hahaha...

Yeah, I really did that. But not with the furrowed brows of course!

Wah damn tu-lan man! My blood boils at the mere recollection of the events. Shan't continue anymore..

Anyway, on a brighter note... I've gotten a laptop. It's Acer; I hope it won't die on me...

And a pair of bloody expensive spectacles which costs half the price of the laptop!!! (No, not Oakley though I very much wanted one for the longest time ever. But my face shape is not suited for their frames :( aww. )

Next post: THE 20 QUESTIONS! HOORAY!

2008-09-23T15:32:00.001+08:00

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, bartender, I'll bet you fifteen bucks I can bite my eye."

The bartender says, "You're on."

So the man pulls out his glass eye and bites it.

Then, the man says, "I'll bet you twenty-five bucks I can bite my other eye."

The bartender thinks, there is no way this guy has two glass eyes. So he says to the man, "Ok, you're on."

So, the man pulls out his dentures and bites his eye with them.

The bartender says, "Man, you're good."

Three hours later, the man comes back and says, "I'll give you a chance to win your money back. See that shot glass on the other end of the bar? I'll bet you a hundred fifty bucks I can piss in it from here and not miss a drop."

The bartender says, "Ok".

So, the man unzips his pants starts peeing, and there's pee flying everywhere. None of it goes in the glass. The bartender is all happy and says, "You owe me a hundred and fifty bucks!"

The man says, "Ok, but see that man over there? I bet him $350 that I would piss all over your bar and you'd be happy."

I laughed out loud at this one. Insanely hilarious!!

2008-09-22T16:50:00.006+08:00

Riding high on the crescendo of the previous post, Justin decided to continue with a slew of random/ramdon/rmadno (come up with your own other permutations, you lazy ass) blog posts and at the same time, live his childhood dream of being a famous talk-show host like Oprah Winfrey sans the dark complexion and curly,curly hair. Therefore, that would make him a White with rebonded hair.

He has apparently been tagged to give 20 random facts about himself but here's a twist.. instead of just dishing out 20 random facts, he would let you ask him absolutely anything that you want to know and he shall have to give his honest answer.

But I'm only going to reply the first 20 questions. I'll sort of compile the set of questions and reply them all in a separate post. Hurry, 'cause I'd extended the same invitation on my blog based in my school's network. But I'm extending it over to YOU my church friends and some of my other pals whom I know read my posts but don't bother leaving their online footprint behind.

Bombard me with your burning questions

2008-09-19T16:12:00.005+08:00

I've been getting Sufficient Sleep(8 full hours baby! + a 16 hour "nap" 2 days ago), SPH sent me my cheque today(Work of the Barest Minimum with pretty decent payout), I've had 2 consecutive Good Hair Days, I am ONLY 105 DOLLARS AWAY FROM NOT OWING MYSELF MONEY and I get to lie on my bed and do nothing but listen to The Winner Takes It All by ABBA
on repeat for as long as I want without having to do Anything(This is my current favorite song. Kill me I’m retrosexual). Life is pretty peachy, I've been doing nothing but hang out, chillax, Meet For Tea and read scarily good children's books by Neil Gaiman(Genius, end of story) I have assorted plans to do Nothing and Go Out over the next few days, and on Monday, I'm going to tan at the beach with Bel(By that I mean she cowers under a straw hat and apply sunblock liberally and obsessively every 40 minutes.) and everything is going to be Alright, until Wednesday that is.

..And I'm also gonna flunk my prelims quite spectacularly.Seriously, Karma is going to bite me in the ass, and then who knows what. AHHHH STUDY DAMMIT. STUDY. And it's not like I actually dislike ANY of the subjects I take, I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM ALL. Yes, even you Mathematics. (Seriously, if I hear another person say, "You've worked hard, you'll get what you deserve." or "Don't worry, you always do fine." I will poke your rectum with A TWIG. Those phrases aren't comforting, at all. Mostly because I don't study, I just get lucky, and it sounds like a warning, like all 'Oooooh THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT STUDYING, YOU ARE GOING TO FAILLL!!

Yeah the prelims didn't go so good. I literally sacrificed Everything for Geography, I completely neglected everything but, if I don't manage to somehow pass, I honestly don't know how I'm going to react. It was pretty horrific, I don't know how I managed to survive the long drawn-out torture of Preparing for the Next Paper Under the Time Constraint of One Day, You Brought This Upon Yourself, Die A$%&@!* Die, but somehow I did. Honestly, if I didn't have awesome friends, I would have had a brain hemorrhage. Thanks for entertaining my last minute "Hi, my paper is in 4 hours and I don't know Anything. Help?" calls.Looking back, it was a bit...excessive I suppose.

Though as it gets closer to Wednesday and My Results...(Oh yeah, I had a Horrible Nightmare involving a chainsaw wielding maniac who wanted to sever my legs and my teacher telling me I did Terribly for GP. It's a sign, I'm expecting the worst though, I felt pretty shit after the GP paper, and I always seem to screw up when it counts).Eh, yesterday was pretty strange, I met Joan(I've met you so many times, I'm sick of you already) and we somehow managed to have an embarrassingly loud argument regarding something completely retarded like A Straw, and ownership of said straw, in front of a waitress who looked suitably amused. Yeah and of Course Joan HAD to smooth it over and Look Mature - "Oh, I am so sorry you had to witness that! But could we have another straw?" "Yes of course, so now you two won't have to fight anymore.*snigger snigger*"

Yes, this is a last minute panic ZOMGWTFBBQ post. I need my bolster and an anal-retentive, control-freak type friend to call me up and yell at me(anyone?). I literally have no self-control.I MEAN I AM ONLINE, LISTENING TO ABBA; TRYING TO GET INTO MAMAMIA MOOD.

I abuse parentheses hahaha

2008-09-13T11:46:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to get very detached from friends. Things aren’t quite the same way it once was anymore, slowly we’re all going on to live our own separate lives. A life that doesn’t include either one of us in it. Or maybe its just me.

I miss my friends, I miss my classmates, I miss the buddies I played soccer with, I miss those random people I’d always bump into at school and greet with a hi.. I miss you! But somehow, I just can't seem to bring myself to save what we’re about to lose.

Rarely do I ever express the way I truly feel about matters closest to my heart. I can openly share my opinions (In fact, I'm known to be conceitedly dogmatic!) but I'm extremely reserved emotionally.. Well the truth is, it saddens me how we’re drifting. I don’t feel a part or connected anymore..

It's like our relationship is now merely a status. But I’ve only myself to blame. Never have I really taken much of an effort to reciprocate your genuine attempts and initiative at maintaining the friendship.

In a way, I’ve always taken it for granted. I’ve never been that friend to you the way you’ve been for me. You might have already given up trying to salvage whatever bond we once shared, you might have moved on with a new purpose, new friends, new life.

I am ashamed to say I lack the courage to do anything about matters. But to you, my friend.. I just want to say that I really miss the times we spent and the memories we had together. And yes, I am writing this to you.

All of you.

2008-09-06T18:58:00.002+08:00

I read an interesting article in The Straits Times a while back, and it has always been at the back of my head ever since. It seems that, not just in Singapore but also everywhere in the world, people are thumbing their noses at Plato and thumbing through books by Planck.

Do you think that, in today’s society, we do not really have to care what the humanities (philosophy, sociology, political science, literature etc…) have to tell us? Rather, we should care about what the sciences can tell us because they help us to get rich? Yep, no one gets rich studying philosophy…

A constant question that I ask when talking about education is ‘What is the purpose of education?’ No doubt, studying useful subjects like engineering and medicine will help us to make tons of money. However, without the study of humanities, we lose what makes us human.

A lot of the sciences we study today originated from the study of humanities. One of the examples I love to quote is Rene Descartes (he of the “I think, therefore, I am” quotation). It was in his writings on the topic of rationality and the need for pure reasoning that the branch of mathematics - Cartesian coordinates, came from. Adam Smith, the famous author of the ‘Wealth of Nations’ which most of our modern economic theories come from, was first and foremost a philosopher, not an economist. His book “Wealth of Nations” was written to address the lack of inequality in society and how society can solve it. If we are to discard the study of humanities, won’t we also be discarding the potential insights that some thinker will come up with about the world?

However, Man being ever so practical, seems to treat the study of humanities as 2nd-rate. In Singapore, we are no better. Based on anecdotal evidence, it would seem that the NUS Arts Faculty is attracting top students to the faculty in recent years. Not that suddenly these straight-A students like to know what Shakespeare said, but because the Department of Economics is there. It seems that parents want their Ah Huay and Ah Huats to become the next chairman of Citicorp.. Practical bunch of people they are, our parents.

The study of sciences tells us what the world is like. The study of humanities tells us what we are. We can’t do without either of them.

“Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil.” said Plato. Tell me what you people think.

2008-09-03T11:39:00.002+08:00

What is fidelity and monogamy? Is it truly possible for humans to be monogamous creatures? Or have we been so deluded by our so called "superior" existence? Are we, when it comes down to it, the same as animals? Is it in our make up to move from person to person, to mate, and to re-populate? Is that the basic and baser instinct we all carry in us?

Words like fidelity and monogamy, these concepts are after all, inventions of the "civilised" human race. Much like other moral values, for example, honesty and integrity, that are ingrained in us since birth, should fidelity not be adhered to as closely as well?

Personally, I would never be tempted to cheat. Being with someone else, while I'm in a relationship with someone I feel strongly for, would just feel wrong to me. It's simply not possible. But then, that's me. Is it the same for other people? Have they been affected by these ingrained ideals of superiority?

That temptation is second nature to the human race is disappointing, I suppose. How many times have we heard the phrase, "I'm human, after all"? When someone cheats on you, is it something you should take personally, or is it something that should be expected of us, as human? Human weaknesses..

Is fidelity an ideal that we have invented to justify our claim as the superior species? Have I been bound by this potentially useless idealistic view? After all, if monogamy is a moral code, why do dozens break this standard we set for ourselves every single day?

Maybe love, fidelity, good and evil, and dozens of other moralistic views are just inventions of the civilised world. Maybe when we come down to it, we are nothing but mere beasts set loose on earth.

Dear pal, I hope this is thought-provoking enough for you.. At least to formulate some soul searching answers of your own :)

2008-08-20T18:13:00.006+08:00

Technology & Love

I was text messaging my classmate two tables away when something occurred to me. Technology really has come a long way and so have we. Possessing a hand phone used to be such a prestige and cool factor. Come friday, even a 8 year old kid would be a proud owner of a spanking new I-Phone! And you asked why am I not surprised...

I remember the days back in primary school when the whole class would start a ‘mass conversation chat room’ using a single piece of paper that would be passed around from person to person. Obviously it was extremely risky, and the consequence faced during times when the paper was intercepted by the teacher is still clearly etched in my memory.

There was even one occasion when a classmate and I had a little thing for each other. We’d always be passing ‘secret love letters’ to one another via the people in between. Nothing materialized eventually, it was just silly infatuations of stupid juveniles.. but those were the fun days.

It's a different feeling reading a hand written note compared to computerized text. We’ve all become so electronic in this modern world. MSN and the likes have obviously benefited us in ways that we keep in touch and communicate with our friends.. But it does have its drawbacks.

Without realizing, we’re all becoming like robots; automated and devoid of emotions. There’s just that something special about the personal human touch and interaction that no form of advanced technology will ever be able to substitute for. Yet, we’re slowly but surely conforming to the cyber touch.

But anyway speaking of old time scandals bring me to the reality of my current (lack of) love life. The current situation is.. I like (d) a girl but the feelings weren’t mutual. That was fine, I’m not the kind who believes in love at first sight anyway..

So then I was in the process of getting to know her.. I didn’t know if she was playing hard to get or just being a bloody flirt. There was something about her though, that made me want to try things differently.. you know, the feeling of willing to do things you’d normally not do..

In the end, it turned out that she wasn’t that special ‘her’ after all.

Heartbreak moment came when I realized that she might have been playing me all these while and that she really was just interested in some other friend of mine. Well maybe it's some form of retribution for all the times I’ve indirectly and unintentionally hurt girls whom I didn’t feel the same affection towards..

Love is complex. It can hurt... it can make you feel on top of the world. It makes you fly or it can break your wings. It can and will put you through experiences and emotions you’ve never felt before. But you can never define what love truly is.

'Cause it’s not meant to be explained. It’s meant to be felt.

Farewell, Mister Moel-Jo
I hope you wouldn't have any use for the stuff you received after the briefing in camp yesterday :p

2008-08-10T15:03:00.018+08:00

It really was a period of self discovery, a much needed wake up call and a timely reminder that I have my life to live ahead of me. I dare say I've come out of the B&W camp a lot more mature than I ever was..

Also, for the very first time.. I actually got to know people.

Now you might think it strange, but the reality is.. I'd always try to avoid social interaction as much as possible. I don’t like socializing very much. I did make an effort to initiate conversations this time though.. and I was pleasantly surprised.

Every opportunity of time spent with these new acquaintances slowly developed into friendships. It's still early days, but I have this strong feeling that special bonds will be shared with a couple of them.

I also had a chance to catch up with many other friends and we grew somewhat closer through the days and nights spent together. By the way, if I ever (offer to) hug you, its my way of saying.. "You're my friend and I care about you". My hugs are rare, but they are always heartfelt.

Memories aplenty, of which all will be cherished. From getting dirty and having icky smelly water poured liberally on your sandy back, those episodes of ghost story telling before the night walk, scaring people then getting scared back :s AJ Timothy's get-up freaked me out!, eating, laughing, the impromptu mass-bonding session, the cheers, drinking cups after cups of hydrating fluids, the teamwork, the friendships, the unforgettable moments and who could ever forget: WATER'S Light-stick Massacre during the final tribal game! =D

Rather than wait till I get EVERY PICTURE TAKEN during the recent Nationals Track & Field meet, I've decided to put up those few pictures I managed to snap using my phone and someone else digital camera. Though it may not beat the Beijing Olympics in terms of media coverage,hype and sporting standards.. This is after all the Choa Chu Kang Olympics(since it's held in CCK stadium right...?)
Don't expect much, I'm not even considered amateur when it comes to photography!

4X100M Relay Boys

Coach getting serious..

Ready,Get Set..... GO???

Shake your booty!

CGS and HCI!!

This girl's 400M timing would put many,many guys to shame!

Hurdles are obstacles to a gold medal!

Self-inflicted spine buster.Yikes!

Where's Liu Xiang?!?!

Unique starting position.. No wonder he's the 400M champion; clocked a sub-50seconds and setting a new M.R!

200m- 2ND placed
400m- Champion; New Meet Record Set.

CJC brought sexy back...

Stomp the ~~yard~~ track.

Bringing you Da Zhang's Angels from Hwa Chong :P

It's sure lonely when you're at the top!

Warming up...

They insist he's my look-alike! WTH!

Kubo flashes his cleavage and Jonathan shouts: "GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!"

Wait till I get the pictures in all of my sporting glory and splendour :P
HO-HO-HO!

2008-08-03T17:18:00.002+08:00

Why does life have to be so complex? Why do people have to be so superficial? Whatever happened to our days of sweet innocence as little kids not caring about anything else beyond our ideal world of imaginations?

Life was never meant to be complicated, somehow it's just us humans who complicate it, making something so simple so hard to comprehend. We lose all our innocence and trust through our growing years as our minds become more twisted, as we live through the harsh realities of the world.

Sometimes, I really wish I was just a child again.

I miss the days of innocence, the days where we were so naive.. We trusted, believed and shared so easily. The memories of those endless hours of fun and trouble, screaming in excitement at the top of our lungs with friends we'd instantly make at the playground..

How the simple promise of an ice cream would make anything bad seem alright again. Those times when tears would fall easily but be forgotten just as quickly. Those giggles and laughter we shared with our little friends over a silly joke.

Life was so simple, so pure.

But the inevitable happened, we eventually grew up. We became exposed to a world of betrayal, hate, lust, violence, greed, selfishness. We soon begin to realize that the fantasy world we were living in isnt as perfect as the one we grew up thinking it was.

Whatever happened to our picture perfect image of the world? Whatever happened to innocent and genuine love and care? Why is it now so hard to give a friend a hug or smile?

Those dreams and ambitions I had, they changed every year but they always seemed plausible. Now, even the simplest ideals seem so faraway and unreachable.

Isn't it strange how we wanted desperately as a child, to grow up and live our life in the world of grown ups as soon as possible but now lament and reminisce on those days of young, wanting to relive such times?

The world we live in slowly but surely killed the child in us. We've lost our purity and simplicity. We are now critical and judgmental about the people and things around us. We have experienced a roller coaster of emotions that has shaped us the way we are today.

Sometimes, I wish I was a child again; innocently naive, trusting people around, always embracing and accepting them for who they are with a bright smiling face (vice versa) and developing joyous memories with them.

Not caring about anything else and believing that the world is perfect.

2008-07-24T18:00:00.003+08:00

I was looking around and a particular characteristic of a certain race struck me. I realized, that my fellow half-race people, the Chinese, are generally not very tall. So my mind got cracking and I came up with this "evolution theory" of the Chinese race.

I reckon the only real reason why most Chinese dudes are short and will continue to be short is because we (and our forefathers) have an over sized ego. We'll never ever choose someone taller than us. Any girl we date or marry eventually HAS to be shorter than us.

But what we've actually failed to realize is the alarming genetic repercussion in the long run. Unless the Chinese male population breaks away from their stubborn ego mentality of refusing to have a taller girlfriend/wife, the average height of our people will continue to plummet!

Here's a simple illustration: Short man meets shorter woman. Short couple falls in love. Short couple gives birth to offspring. The "obviously logical" scenario would be that of the child being even shorter! If that cycle continues, soon our whole race will be no taller than midgets!

Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is, we Chinese guys will forever continue dating girls shorter than us. There is absolutely no way we will go for taller girls (unless they are super hot). If we did, we wouldn't be Chinese.

We have been thoroughly brainwashed during our younger days listening to all the mambo jumbo about males being the head of the family and how the family would crumble if we are not at least one head above our other half.

Stupid theories of our ancestors.

Someone seriously has to break this trend. Any brave Chinese dude willing to put all ego aside and date/marry a taller girl? You'll be doing the Chinese population a huge favor! Think of your unborn child, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Perhaps over the next few generations, the Chinese people will be just as tall as those gigantic angmohs we always have to "look up to".

Otherwise, like how Joker is the new anarchism, "Chinese" will be the new "short".

Like you know; 'Yo Chinese guy! You're so Chinese.. I can’t see you man!'

Next up: A pictorial entry of my recent National School's Track & Field Meet.
Have yet to kope pictures from my mates.

2008-07-21T21:44:00.000+08:00

I had the strangest of dreams last night. In it, I saw myself leaving this world (or dying to be blunt). Now if I were to be one who interprets dreams as a vision of the near future, I'd honestly be quite alarmed. But I do believe everyone has their place in time.

Death is inevitable, it’s not something we can control. All of us will eventually leave this world at some point. I guess the only power we do have, is the control over our own lives during our time alive.

As cliché as the saying might be, I reckon the happiest of people truly are the ones who 'live each day as if its their last'. They are the ones who treasure every single moment and will probably leave the world without regrets when the time comes..

I thought about something along that line.. I thought about my last 24 hours. If I were to be forewarned that I only had 24 hours left to live, this would be what I'd want to do..

Assuming the day starts at 12am..

I'd be at a sleepover with my closest friends. Obviously sleep will not be on the agenda. (We've all spent a third of our lives sleeping away.. why waste more hours during your last?) Anyway, we'll just stay up and enjoy each other's company all through the night.

Then in the morning, I’d meet up with old friends for a little kick about. I love soccer, and I miss all those moments of us guys getting all soaked with perspiration from morning football before school assembly..

Come afternoon, I’d have a gathering of sorts with every single person I know, over a lunch party. It'd be an opportunity to meet and just have fun with all these wonderful friends for the very last time..

After the party, I’d make a trip down with all my personal possessions to a Children's Home. I can actually still recall the very first time I volunteered at a Home.. it really touched my heart and changed my life somewhat. The one last deed I’d want to do for these children, is to put a smile on their faces and remind them that comewhatmay, they hold the destiny of their own lives..

Dinner. I'd cook dinner and have my last meal.. with my family. You've probably never heard me say this, but despite my disagreements and everything else with my parents..the family unit to me, is still the most important thing in life.

In the closing few hours before it strikes midnight.. I'd spend some time alone to reminisce all of life's happy memories. I'd write a personal letter to thank every single person who've made my life a beautiful journey. Then, in the final few minutes, I’d close my eyes with a smile, and breathe my last..

How would you spend your last 24 hours?

2008-07-14T17:49:00.002+08:00

While on the bus to school this morning, a single thought struck me. Something that always comes to my mind as I sit back and people-watch. You know it's quite fascinating to observe others from a distance (not in the voyeuristic sense), the way they talk, dress and behave.

Then occasionally, when you make eye contact with that stranger for a brief second, one of you would turn away in embarrassment at being caught ‘staring’. What if people actually acknowledged each other with a nod and a smile instead? Wouldn’t that be nice?

When I was holidaying in Down Under circa 2006, I felt warmth from any random stranger that I passed on the street. They’d greet you with a smile and a simple ‘hello’ which sometimes goes to make one’s bad day seem a lot better.

Trying something like that in Singapore would only bring about trouble. The other party will probably think you’re nuts or some sick pervert.. and that’s the whole bloody problem with our society! We’re all so caught up living in our own world of oblivion that we fail to immerse ourselves in our surroundings.

Everyday, you’ll be greeted with the stony, grumpy expressions of fellow commuters and strangers alike. It’s extraordinary how their lives seem to be miserable 365 days a year! If Thailand is the land of smiles, Singapore is pathetically the land of frowns!

But anyway, that wasn't what I had set out to discuss.

Hm... We’re all living in a world filled with strangers. The passing faces you see everyday are nothing more than a mere insignificant figure. But think, every one of these people can potentially change or impact your life in some way or another.

The course of your life steers in little ways every time you develop a friendship with someone new. Some say its destiny when 2 people meet.. maybe so, but you know I really do think that anyone of us can get acquainted with any random stranger simply by having the courage to say hello.

Imagine this.. What if you had chosen to go to a different school?

Your life would probably be different from what it is now. And the obvious reality is, that you’d be hanging out with a totally different bunch of people.. the ones you know, the very same ones who are significant in your lives right at this moment, would have been nothing more than just another face.

My point is; not knowing what lies ahead in your life makes it a lot more interesting. Every passing figure you see each day isn’t merely another insignificant soul, but someone with a story of their own, and one who might very well be part of the story of your life.

I’m not saying that you should go out there and start introducing yourself to the whole world. But if the opportunity ever arises, take the initiative.
Be the first to go up to someone new with an extended hand, a genuine smile, and just say hello.

2008-07-10T20:03:00.003+08:00

Growing poor as the days go by, I swear I’ll have to sell tissue paper on Orchard Road really soon at the rate I'm spending...on cabs and food! Well, if it’s by any means a scant consolation, at least i still have enough dosh left for my daily dose of candy!

Taxis.. Gee, i really do need a car already!

Which brings me to the point of entry about another mode of transport in Singapore.. the MRTs! As a frequent commuter of MRTs, i estimate I’ll spend 4% of my lifetime on trains. And the other 96%; sleeping.

There are a few things you can do on the train. Sit, stand, sit on the floor. Then, while you are in these various positions, you either read the papers, chat on the phone, play SIMON SAYS and plug in your earpiece like everyone else, read a book or dig your nose. (Roll it with your thumb and index finger, then flick it in the face of some hapless kid.)

This is where it gets interesting: People always jostle for space, to get as much circle of freedom. This gets especially complicated during office and school (before and after) hours. The crowd gets enormous and the most lethal things on these trains aren't the people standing over the yellow line and running for empty seats as if they’re going to war...

Instead, it is something that reeks and occupies loads of space. You’re probably thinking body odor or the ‘aroma of fart’. Well, i am not referring to that. I swear I’ll fart in your face if you ever give me a whiff of something foul emanating from you..

The thing that irks me the most.. are morning tabloids. (Okay, so tell me.. What irks you people? Applicable only to matters concerning time onboard public transportation.)

I don't know about you people but the smell of fresh newspaper makes me wanna puke. Well the smell of one isn't exactly that bad.. but when 20 newspapers crammed in a place where only 21 people can stand, that would make you the odd one out without the smell.

I was tempted to turn the tables and unleash my weapon of mass destruction-fart just to gain more space in the train, but people spread their newspaper so wide as though they were in their toilet cubicle shitting.

What makes it worse is the very fact that these crisp tabloids have sharp edges. So, whenever I enter trains, I’ll always receive a welcome scratch and get mauled by tabloids spreading themselves (and of course by the sounds of young punks blasting music! But that’s something else altogether).

Therefore I'm starting a new movement! An anti-free-newspaper environment.. due to the fact that they are highly dangerous! The next time i see some bloody prick bringing a tabloid on board the train.. I'm gonna be a very good Singaporean and call 'won ba de.. won ba de.. won ba de'.

It is against the law to bring highly dangerous objects on board public transport! And my life is in jeopardy whenever you do! So there!

Whoever knows which idiot invented the idea of free tabloids, I'm going over there to fart in his very face.

Better yet, I'll scratch him with my newspaper..

TRACK FINALS YEAH! I NEED SUPPORT!
J-MO, find an excuse to come down to CCK stadium if you're stil based in Stagmont Camp. Dinner's on me afterwards ;)

2008-07-08T21:48:00.004+08:00

Nicole Kidman finally gave birth last Sunday.

And she named her baby girl Sunday.

What kind of parents would enforce such a name on their child? No compassion! No sympathy!Seriously!

That child is going to grow up with a serious inferiority complex man!

"Hey Sunday, it's Sunday!"

"Wanna go out with me on Sunday, Sunday?"

"I hate Sunday, don't you Sunday?"

Holey crap, the jokes are endless!

Lol. Seriously. Why not name your child Dipshit, it wouldn't make much of a difference. Why do people try so hard to stand out? I could probably come up with 5 weird names that people have chosen recently. Parents try so hard to "stand out" that they usually end up choosing names that really suck. Sunday?! Seriously...

Another thing that I can't stand is when people use names that they're not given. If you're not given an English name then so be it! No wait. It is okay if you choose an English name for yourself because it's easier for other people to pronounce (note: Chinese names), or to relate yourself to the people in your industry.

But when people choose names that is obviously just for show, it pisses the hell out of me. Because they want to stand out and err, have weird names?
I know of someone who chose the name Cressabella.
Bloody hell, it sounds like bloody watercress!

And then there was another who called herself Doily! Does she even know that a doily is an object? It's so obvious that she doesn’t. Why the hell do people do this to themselves? It's damn funny to watch, but also quite sad to witness the stupidity.

Don't even get me started on people who deny their own heritage. Why do people want to be so different? To put it in colloquial terms; Chinese "step-angmoh" ROFL! You can't change what you were born as, but you can damn well make sure that the life you lead is yours and not trying to be someone else god didn't make you out to be.

Heh. Okay. Getting confusing. Because everyone is trying to be different, when you try to be different, you're actually fitting in.

Hahahahahahaha, I amaze myself sometimes.

See, my name is Justin Lim Meng Chen. Common name, common surname, common Chinese name. But I don't go around calling myself Bolognaise or something right?

Yeah I chose Bolognaise ‘cause some stupid mofo may have seen in on a menu and thought, "Hmm, I should start calling myself that. So unique!"

Edit: I used to be ashamed of being Chinese. But not anymore.. I think it's wayyyy cool now! (Though having Singaporean roots isn't something I proudly declare. At least not yet...)

2008-07-07T19:17:00.000+08:00

"You.. fat? You're crazy!"

But here's the shocking revelation..
I have a little bulging tummy!

A total of 8 meals consumed today.

2008-07-03T16:54:00.007+08:00

I never knew how very much a person's life can change. How one incident can make you feel constantly perplexed and dogged by uncertainty.

It's like, before that very fateful day, or night, I was fine. I was not ecstatically happy, but at least I wasn’t feeling what I'm feeling now. It kinda sucks. But now, after that very fateful night, I am stuck feeling like this, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

This pretty much sucks.

Which is also why I’m flying back to the blog-o-sphere. Because my blog can't call me a pussy.

Hmm...

My life is upside down right now, and I'm the one doing the pulling. I'm changing all my convictions, all my goals and dreams. I know how some people are thinking that I'm indecisive, and maybe I am. But I don’t really have a choice anymore do I?

It's time to grow up, and actually start thinking about the future. Damn, I hate that word.

Anyway, today was a hectic day! Woke up early to head down to school's stadium for training. I had to train by myself. Highlight was pushing a 10kg weight with my right leg, to strengthen a certain muscle called the abductor (I do think it’s the mastermind behind kidnaps!).

So there I was, like one stupid clown pushing the weight on the track. Haha, never mind it is for my own good. After that we had a ice bath. There was this dustbin filled with ice water (Don't worry the dustbin never served its original purpose). We had to sit in it for three minutes and I swear it was really, really cold. However, Jon and Shali, my team mates got it worst because they got to sit in water which had new ice in it. Even the surface of the dustbin was covered with condensation. Such sorry souls..

Just earlier this week, I headed down to Singapore Sports School for a photo shoot with the national team. I think we'd be flying off to some ASEAN country in Nov' or Dec' to have a shot at international sporting glory! Maybe I can defer enlistment again.. Also went for a session with the physiotherapist (old injury, sigh... ha-ha) and to collect some apparel & supplements from my sponsor! They stood by me despite that horrible incident and after all the nonsense I've been up to. Really, really thank God for them!

People come up to tell me, "Eh, how come your blog no pictures one?!” I thought my writing was enough to compensate the dearth of pictures! Apparently not! Humans are so difficult to please, please!

If a picture says a thousand words; I would post a two-thousand words blog post without pictures! Someone say "Overkill". Hehe. Anyways...

EARLY XMAS PREVIEW!

Mischievous team-mates pranked me.
I nearly died when I found the entire box full of paper stuffing!

THE SPIKES!! ZOMG ROYAL GREEN!
DON'T YOU FEEL GREEEEEEENNN WITH ENVY?
BUT YUCK, I HATE GREEN!

ANYONE WANTS? DRI-FIT MATERIAL; GOOD FOR RUNNING:)
I'M JUST TRYING TO REINFORCE THE POINT THAT I HATE THE COLOUR GREEN!
I HATE THE INCREDIBLE HULK TOO. HE'S MORE OF INCREDULOUS. WAHA!

Indian Dude: Shalidran. School mate. Sprints specialist. Represented Singapore at the recent SEA Games.
Chinese Dude: Calvin Kang. Singapore Sports School. Rising starlet in sprints event. I heard he's freaking fast.
As you can see, we are all dressed in tights getting ready for the photo shoot.
Ethel says tights are disgusting! Where, got....?
Oh, I had a wardrobe malfunction before the shoot. =s
Come to think of it, it was damn embarrasing!

My second pair of sponsored spikes :)
But why Nike!!!! I was pro-Adidas throughout my running "career".
Prefer this to the GREEN one though!

Training shoes. My 3rd pair of shoes received!
Whoa, my favourite colour. Yeah, now we're talking;)

ps:it's not that i don't wanna tell you
but rather, i don't know where to start
or how to start, really.
but in this post are gems waiting for you to unearth!
and questions for you to ask :)
all you've gotta do is to push the right buttons.

pps: looking for people to carry my banner during the nationals race next week. got my face and all. so, better carry properly hor? dinner as reward. ROFL.

ppps: i didn't make the banner! but rather it was a gift from a friend who thought i'd be shameless enough to bring it to competition.. so yah, why not? my face leh!

BTW! Rosette, if you're reading this all the way from Korea.. Yobosaeyo!!

2008-06-26T18:06:00.000+08:00

Hmm, a close friend of mine told me yesterday that even though I tend to be a very outspoken person, always speaking whatever's on my mind.. he feels that he doesn't actually know the real me.

The truth is.. he's right.

It's not so much of what I'm trying to hide from the world, but I'm always in a state of complicated confusion which weighs me down and a lot of times, I try really hard not to let it show.

Right now, even though I might seem perfectly alright on the surface, I'm actually starting to crumble... mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I need to pull myself together.

2008-06-25T16:50:00.003+08:00

The post about Guys will be taken down henceforth without prior notice.
But allow me to clarify the matter:

1) It was never...and i say again; NEVER, in my intention to condone lusty, amorous behaviour within the Church. Perhaps it wasn't stated explicitly when I published the post thereby ensuing in a series of misunderstandings with my dear brother 'X'. Thus, I still stand firm by my principle that :It's okay to look. Staring and allowing unhealthy thoughts to fester ,however, is not how we should act. Otherwise, men of God would have to gouge their eyes out.

Fleeting glance = Okay. Just look,turn back around and get on with life.

But keep your lewd thoughts inside, thankyouverymuch.
Ogling, Fantasizing, Sexual and Evil desires, Covetousness should set alarm bells ringing in your head.

I understand perfectly, and likewise I wouldn't want men to harbour ill thoughts towards the female members of my household. My mum's a woman, my sister's a woman, my maid's a woman and so are my two dogs =p
(I'm sure you get my point now...)

2) That post was meant to be tongue-in-cheek and an avenue to flaunt my writing.I just enjoy writing to entertain friends.
Please accept my sincerest apologies if you or anyone else feel aggrieved by my frank post.

The matter is solved, misunderstandings are cleared and Life goes on.

Kthxbai

2008-06-18T12:30:00.002+08:00

Anyone read the Straits Times recently?

The things that happen are tragic.

There is an article in there about this Japanese guy who went on a killing spree, because he was depressed. There was something about how he was constantly mistreated when he was young, and how he was a social outcast because he didn't know how to get along with people. Thus having, no friends, or a girlfriend, plus not being able to keep his job, he exploded.

Anyone else remember the Virginia Tech killings? Again, Cho was mistreated and looked down upon, just because he was different.

Theory is, people who are mentally disturbed are people who have suffered some form of abuse in their lives, be it social, physical, or emotional abuse.

I remember when I was in Secondary School, there was a boy who was a schizophrenic. No one knew he was suffering from this disease, but let's just say that I was horrible to that kid. Called him names, generally just looked down on him because he was different. I never did anything worse than that, but other people did; bullied him till no end. I didn't do anything, but I laughed along.

When I turned 15, I started seeing how miserable the guy was, and started regretting everything that I ever did to him, and I started to stop others from bullying him. Not that it ever worked. I felt so sorry for him, and I really saw how mean people can be to the ones who are different.

One day, when we turned 16, we found out by lieu of our teacher that he was a schizophrenic. After that, everyone started treating him with so much kindness and respect. Better late than never, true, but it didn't really repair the 4 years of damage that we inflicted on this guy.
I will always remember the guy, and how I became a mean, near-evil person, and how much pleasure I derived from bullying the guy. Thinking about it now, it makes me sick to the stomach, knowing that I once had so much fun humiliating someone.

To this day, I try my best to be fair to people, no matter how different they are, or how annoying they can be.

It's just sad la, the things that can happen from years of neglect. We should all just be nicer people. Or you know, don't stare when you see someone who looks different.

Just that day I was on the MRT, and this boy sat down beside me. He's slightly retarded, I think. Anyway, he kept leaning across me to look at what I was reading, and kept pointing at my book. Man, it was fucking annoying. But I tolerated it, felt sorry for him. When he was getting off the train, the boy just turned and waved goodbye to me. Seriously, it was really really sweet.

After he got off, this guy came towards me and said that he saw everything that happened. Then he asked me, 'Why didn’t you tell him off?" You should have seen his face - he had this look on his face, and every syllable was just dripping with disgust.

Like, what in the blue hell... Why so disgusted when you were standing in a corner just watching away? I shot him a look, and said "I'm telling you off now."

Damn, I'm suave and cool man. Tsk ;)

Stupendous

2008-06-07T17:24:00.005+08:00

HTML stupefies me..

I feel so dumb staring at paragraph after paragraph of gibberish on my screen. Of the fact how seemingly nonsensical alpha-numerics when strung together can give a blog or website; shape and form completely eludes me.

Okay I give up! I need to exploit some dumb girl to help me with it. most likely my sister luh..
This is so not worth getting a headache over.

Somehow I don't look forward to church camp anymore. Zzz

Peace out.
~~Violence in~~

2008-06-02T14:58:00.002+08:00

I would say that I've turned into someone really quite different. The things that I do now, are things that I would never have done in the past. Or objects/people/animals that I would never have let myself get close to.

All of a sudden, my goals in life are changing, and my outlook on things are not as rosy or optimistic anymore. I feel heavier, and more sombre, and I'm not sure that it is necessarily a bad thing. I do however, mourn the person that I was. I was a happier one back then.

Well... On to better things, I must say. The blog is up, and judging from the fact that I have just rambled on for quite a bit, it's going to be up for a long long time.

I can never stay away from writing, it seems to call to me when I don't write for a long time. Ever had that feeling? It's like, I'll get really uptight, and my mind will be crowded with utterly irrelevant things, and then I'll get the itch. Which would be when I realise that it's time to write again.

Haha, my relationship with writing is going to be a long one.

Contradictions

2008-05-27T12:36:00.002+08:00

Life is full of contradictions. You believe that you have a way of thinking but you behave differently. Yes, my life and probably yours too - is really weird.. Sometimes, a lot of things dont seem to make sense.

Allow me to cite some examples.. for one, I hate smokers! I can't conceive why people would smoke to harm their health just to look cool. So what if you say it soothes your nerves, some even say it helps them to run faster (Zz I pwn them anyway..) I say it freezes your system functions and you’re a nuisance with your second hand smoke.

But then again, as much as some of us might complain about these annoying smokers, the contradiction lies in the fact that we practically get ourselves exposed to loads of fumes from public transport every single day.

I eat alot and don't get fat. My definition of a lot is 2-3 meals per sitting and a total of about 9 meals a day, not including snacks. Weirdly, when I consume lesser food, I get even fatter. Hence, I have resorted to eating more to slim down.

I love to be kept busy, having things in my hand just calms my soul. I believe that by being busy, I have purpose in life. However, every time I get bogged down with work, I'll then take on an extremely stoned state and just grudgingly complete whatever shit that is thrown at me..

For most part of the time, I’d just become a mindless soul bent on completing my task. And during moments when I don't have any work to do.. I’ll complain that my tutors dont assign enough work..!

Still, i'm without a doubt.. the ultimate king of procrastination.

I'm a geek in the sense that I keep myself updated with the IT world but yet I don't go about seeking gadgets to amuse myself, just the occasional necessary musings to fiddle about with.

I seek to have a personality of my own by having my own style but can't seem to find a formula. I don’t know who or what is the real me sometimes.. Maybe I emulate too much of what i see..

I tend to talk a lot in front of strangers, just to make them comfortable.. but when I'm in a crowd and just a lone figure, I will dilute to the background. I’ll be the most anti-social guy ever, simply refusing to participate in any social activity..

I talk about being flexible and spontaneous with my thinking but I have this weird obsession of planning and having a "what to do next list" in my mental conscience. Its like, my impromptu-ness is actually an action that was already running through my head..

I reckon i'm just a walking contradiction who confuses even myself! It seems that my subconscious mind is lost in transition from adolescence to maturity, or insanity..

2008-05-21T22:02:00.003+08:00

I learnt a really important lesson today:
Never laugh at someone no matter how retarded they might look or sound doing something.

So then I was off to the hawkercentre to buy dinner and this happened...

I crossed path with this Indian man who had his ears jacked with headphones blasting music. Hilarious bit was the fact that he was singing out loud whatever he was tuned in to, but it sounded like Britney Spears (THAT bad!)..

Trust me, I can really go on writing all day about people who contribute to noise pollution by singing out loud (horribly) while listening to their music, totally oblivious to the stares they're getting. I’d either be highly amused, or extremely annoyed.. But they do bring some humor to my day nonetheless..

This Indian man in particular, made me laugh so hard that.. I ended up throwing my mobile phone into a dustbin. Bloody hell I don’t even know what happened! I cant say "i don't know what i was thinking!", i doubt my brain even existed in that split second!

One minute a darker shade of a hideous sounding Britney Spears crossed my path singing, the next minute I was laughing my head off, before finally screaming ‘OH SHIT!’ at the sight of my phone in the thrash..!

Gosh I’d love to have that kinda power to curse anyone with something unfortunate if they ever laugh at me! But oh well, I reckon that Britney dude would have gotten the last laugh if he knew what happened.. and I need a freaking idiot-proof phone!

2008-05-19T11:17:00.004+08:00

I had Track Meet on Friday therefore I was unable to attend cell.
Lovely excuse really, but no..
Let me recollect:
- Broke 2 School Records.
- Gold medals in 800m,1500m and 3000m as well as 4X400m.
- Silver medal in 400m
- Long Jump: Bronze.
- Some other events where I got disqualified for false starts, dropped the baton, went over the foul line. ROFLLTNT

Pssst, did i mention that Mr C. Kunalan was the guest of honour. OMG i sure hope i left an impression on the old track star.

But celebrations were marred by the unwelcome betrayal of my friend. Gee, I'm never gonna trust that dude again.

TUESDAY'S UGLY-UGLY CONFRONTATION.

2008-05-13T17:17:00.002+08:00

If I were an enzyme i would be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes.

HAHAHA.. As if which girl would fall for such a horrid pick-up line-_-
so i guess you're just plain dumb luh

2008-05-08T17:40:00.004+08:00

Because I'm so god-damn fastttttttttt....

2008-04-24T10:28:00.001+08:00

8,
16,
21!!!

FTW

2008-04-15T12:29:00.003+08:00

Let's get lost tonight
You could be my black Kate Moss tonight
Play secretary, I'm the boss tonight.
And you don't give a fuck what they all say, right?
Awesome, the Christian in Christian Dior
Damn they don't make 'em like this anymore
I ask, cause I'm not sure
Do anybody make real shit anymore?
Bow in the presence of greatness
Cause right now thou has forsaken us
You should be honored by my lateness
That I would even show up to this fake shit

-Kayne West

2008-04-11T18:28:00.003+08:00

grunge, redefined, cocktail waitress, depressed and dying, anti-social, withdrawn, anguish, shuttled back and forth, self-destruction, nihilistic, lyrical, artistry, iconoclastic attitude, queer, alliance, recognition, mainstream, crunching, propel, decipher, seductive, passionate, obsessively, sickly, sensitive, heroin, rigorous demands, acutely focused, drug-abuse, agonies, struggles, pulled the trigger, mannequin, red, profane, lambasted, youth culture...

oh my exploding inner self

2008-04-10T21:03:00.006+08:00

My week thus far:
- Got a frigging 'C' for General Paper. The teacher still had the cheek to say he marked me down because my essay contained far too many polemic arguments; meaning to say that it's no different from the horrendous debate standards on The Arena. (Seriously, since when did the gentleman's sport of debating degenerate into mindless badgering of your adversary? Whatever happened to finesse and persuasive arguments? No doubt, the topics discussed are interesting but the "show" put up by some of Singapore's finest students really leave much to be desired. Starting your argument with the simplistic "I agree/disagree"? Aww come on!) In short: My essay = Standard of The Arena = Simply rubbish. ROFL! To add insult to injury, the teacher asked if I was from an all boys school; ACS to be exact. WTH!! Just because I used bombastic language to mask my apparent lack of content knowledge?! Absolutely not interested in the topic "Environment" please! I certainly do not look like a tree-hugger praying for ecological unity. Be glad I bullshat my way through. Thank you.

-Went to Philip Kingsley at Takashimaya yesterday for my hair cut but Dad and Mum were rather disapproving of the look.. WTH yet again!! Had facial with Jinx and I prank-ed her by pretending to be the beautician. HAHAHA i smeared crap cream and gel on her face :P Received news that Andrew got involved in a car accident not too long after he obtained his car license; car totally wrecked. He crashed into a bus stop. I do hope he's fine and realises that driving in practice is unlike Daytona.

-Made someone close to me angry. AHHHHHHH. WTH, not again!! Don't be ~~petty~~ angry leh..

2008-04-06T17:14:00.003+08:00

Tactful and run-off-the-mill guy is what I am. I take an effort to practice self-censorship though, so as not to insult anybody unintentionally. BUT, get on the wrong side of me and I’ll go all out fuming at something/someone/some issue.

In retrospect, I'm an average guy with an average life.. (I swear I’m not Spiderman.. wearing tights is so Z.O.M.G!! Your balls need some breathing space man!) Nothing too exciting, just a guy who's pretty opinionated.

Whoa... Picture me in politics! A Minister of LOCAL Affairs, standing in Parliament House ‘bitching’ about lesbians, taxi drivers, price hikes.. Maybe even the Rice Scare.

I’d look ghastly in white. And it's so against my principals to “PAY AND PAY”. I’ll form my own opposition party called TAT (take and take!). Plus, I’d only ask people to renovate/upgrade MY OWN house, not yours. And, I don't like meeting people who will come to me complaining about stray cats and their rusting window grill...

They’ll remind me a lot of myself.

How I digress as usual...

Hmm.. this blog is essentially me; with garbled thoughts and loads of complaints about anything under the sun. There is no where else you can be true to yourself except your own imagination and your own blog. At least I've made those two my own arena to stamp my say.

And believe me when I say, that whatever I ever write on my blog is only a REALLY tame interpretation of everything that goes through my head... the amount of thoughts that materializes in there every single second is just one of life’s greatest mysteries..

Sidenote: I thank God for the events that transpired this week. Firstly, I aced my H1 Chinese Paper! I was in shock when the teacher broke the news to me, and so were my friends. Can't blame them; for English and Gibberish(lolftw!) are known to be my only two languages I converse in. But hey, i'm also considered bilingual...no? I haven't been passing my Chinese since J1 and my 'zhuowen' can only garner a 10/30 at best. Amazingly, I secured an 'A' this time round. Finally (my pesky sister keeps bugging me lah. can't blog in peace. hope she reads this. grrr..) the doctor has given me the all-clear to compete! My ankle is fine and dandy now. 17 days to get my fitness back to tip-top condition for Nationals X-Country on the 23rd April.

2008-04-03T16:12:00.002+08:00

Have you ever gotten one of those bloody annoying chain mails or stuff where you have to continue the trend or face the consequences of breaking the chain? You see a lot of these stupid things on social networking sites like Facebook or Friendster (more of Friendster actually- Not that I've started using it again) , where “something will happen if you (don’t) repost”.

I seriously think that anyone who indulges in spreading such absurdities are rendered either bored or brainless. Bored, simply because they want to see others' reactions.. and brainless as to how they’re actually superstitious enough to believe in such things.

I've been ignoring such "witchcraft" throughout my 5 years of using web-based email, and I must say that friends who have sent them to me before, have all gotten a fair share of experiencing my utter annoyance.

So please.. stop doing nonsensical childish things like spreading the "good word". Unless you really want that supposed "happy love life" and "great surprise" promised so badly or those scary shit stories which will make you pee in bed if you choose to break the chain...

I’ve been warned numerous times that I’d be visited by a headless child, that my loved ones would die a horrible death.. and there was even one which threatened the safety and existence of my balls!

Yet, ignorance of all these retarded chain mails later, and my balls are still very well intact and functional, thank you very much.

What I'm trying to say is; use your time more constructively man. Spend some quality time with your loved ones, do some volunteer work.. maybe even go clubbing or shopping to boost the economy.

Life's short- Stop wasting it.

and did you know that i fell victim to a silly hoax on the first of april?
damn it, i must have been THE april fool.

2008-03-26T18:49:00.005+08:00

THE ENLISTMENT ACT (CHAPTER 93)

1. Under the Enlistment Act (Chapter 93), all male Singapore Citizens and Permanent Residents are required to serve National Service. Our records showed that you are eligible for enlistment into full-time NS upon 18 years/ completion of your studies.

2. You are now required to submit your NS documentation in preparation for your enlistment...

And so forth..

ZOMG!! The Army wants me in so soon. Tsktsktsk. I need some help with the Singpass shit 'cause I suppose i have forgotten my password already.

So absent-minded of me hor?
Sianz 0.5

2008-03-19T16:23:00.002+08:00

A 29 years old, female contestant in the second season of the Bulgarian show "Music Idol" performs Mariah Carey's song "Without you" in fake English.

A YouTube User commented:
Anyways, I love the way that she was totally confident. The poor girl thought she had the judges completely fooled by getting away with it by singing the song in "English." To her amazement, the female judge apparently does speak and comprehend English and found the audition hilarious.

Go on, click on it. I guarantee you wouldn't regret it..

tulibu dibu douchoo. OMFG!

2008-03-12T17:39:00.001+08:00

with ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.

my friend said so. therefore do not doubt her.

2008-03-11T18:44:00.003+08:00

Once again, it looks as though another veritable hornet's nest has been stirred up in my school's forum. I, on the other hand, have successfully restrained myself from replying lest it escalates into nothing short of a nuclear war ('cos I get carried away at times, hehe..) God is non-exclusive for He loves stupid people as well; he's in my school's prayer group. Geez..

He started a forum thread lambasting gays; labelling them as disgusting and unnatural which invoked the ire of the common student population.

And although I feel that the government was right not to repeal the statute on homosexuality, the issue is not something to look down upon, but rather it is something that we could try to know better and not criticize. Gays have been looked down upon by many people, which is something I don't like at all. Sexual identity is a very confusing issue to many people, and it is not really a good idea at all if one simply says that it is disgusting and unnatural. The problem is: Even the "straight" people sometimes feel homosexual impulses. A person of the same gender who is stunningly beautiful, for instance, or very successful in life, may soon begin to appeal to one's sexual senses. However, he/she only becomes a homosexual if one chooses to follow those impulses.

Another theory behind this could be due to the lack of an influence of the opposite gender in the person's life, e.g. a boy lacking a mother, or a girl lacking a father.

Before this degrades into a GP essay, let me just say this: Homosexuals are human too, and to oversimplify and generalize a complicated issue like this by calling it disgusting and unnatural only serves to show lack of maturity and critical thinking.

That's the reason why i say global fears arising from a pandemic of fatuity is NOT unfounded. There, I've said my piece.

What are YOUR views?

2008-03-02T16:10:00.002+08:00

HELLO.
I'm getting a real kick out of asking my maid to recite numerals 1-10 in her mother tongue - over and over again.
Somehow, I would break out in uproarious laughter when she reaches number 8..

You see, she would go "SHIT!!!" whenever she's supposed to say '8' in Burmese.

Amusing stuff, isn't it?
Now I demand that you laugh along with me too.

Hur-hur-hur

2008-02-26T17:28:00.001+08:00

cocaine in the brain;
insane in the membrane
everyday i'm hustlin'
everyday i'm shufflin'

2008-02-23T16:15:00.004+08:00

What Justin Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Such personality tests should only be taken with a pinch of salt; more so when this only requires you to enter your name in the test field. Therefore take 10 tablespoonfuls of salt. LOL.

I'll only highlight (in red) what I truly feel best describes me. Any others shall be left to your own interpretation and ~~warped~~ judgement.

*edit I realised the post has become a sea of red. Well what can i say to that? Geez...

2008-02-17T16:31:00.004+08:00

There’s just an element of surprise to every blind date.. you’ll tend to wonder how the person you’re gonna meet is like, whether or not the date is gonna turn out fine or become a complete disaster. Ultimately, you’ll wonder if you’ll meet the right one?

There's a story behind every ticket stub.
Sit back and relax as you watch the trailers.
Eagerly waiting for the blockbuster with bated breath.
And as you wait for the show to commence - one could only wonder;
Would it be horror, comedy, action or romance?

~~Maybe even sci-fi, if your date looks like E.T~~

2008-02-13T18:58:00.007+08:00

~~Roses are red, Violets are blue...~~

Roses are flowers; Violet's a colour,
Tomorrow is gonna be just like any other day..

I adore KT. Tunstall.
She has "character", man.

The fire fades away
Most of every day
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the otherside of the world

2008-02-09T22:34:00.000+08:00

Brief CNY post because I'm darn lazy to blog something sensible. Just make do with it; at least for now please.

PACMAN: MANDARIN ORANGE EDITION!

She's the cousin whom I never thought i had-- Seriously...
All of 6 years old and she's already such a sweetheart!
Give her somemore time and I'd reckon she will end up breaking hearts instead.

Most Outrageous Picture I've taken with Alex Tan KUKU.
'nuf said...

2008-01-29T18:39:00.000+08:00

A moment of personal thoughts..

Lately I have learnt aplenty.. boundaries have been conquered. I breathe a sigh of great relief and grief, both at the same time. The heart bleeds for both victory and defeat, its really a myriad of emotions that scales through this mountain of uncertainty.

Many people describe a situation like this as a closed chapter in life. Personally, I believe this is like a stack of cards thrown high up into the blue azure sky; the wind takes its course as it gently whispers words of wisdom and prediction as it caresses the cards through the air...

Why a stack of cards? Life's a gamble, wherever each card lands on whichever continent of the world, it is based on a fraction of probability and the big enigma that is life itself.

Would the king of hearts ever land on the same plateau as the queen of hearts again? That's an enigma itself and I'd leave it that way for now.

i have a new special friend and it's a girl. heheh

2008-01-28T20:36:00.000+08:00

The funny thing about knowledge is that there is no way to discern between what you should seek to discover and what you're better off not knowing. It's like, acquiring new knowledge makes things simpler and more complicated at the same time.

The more I understand about things - how they work, why they behave the way they do.. the less scary and overwhelming everything around me becomes. It is as if the fact of matter has always been so obvious and simple!

Yet at the same time, learning something new always makes me wish I could tear my attention and consciousness into a million different pieces just so that I’d be able to follow the dozen different trains of thought that have entered my mind..

Sometimes, I reckon I think too much.
Sometimes, being prideful pays especially when you're in a class of suckers.

my gp essay got selected as model essay and would be printed in some school publication. oh no, not again! yawns...

2008-01-24T19:04:00.000+08:00

Have you ever left your house, probably heading out somewhere, and just when you’re about to board the bus or train, realize that you’ve left your wallet at home?

Now you have to hastily journey back the same initial route to the station, rushing for time as you’re most likely already late for that appointment.. and furthermore, you’re probably also horribly pissed for being such a retard to have forgotten about your wallet.

After all the trouble of making a double trip, you then have to wait for that freaking bus that’s like never gonna arrive! When it eventually does, you happily hop on and scan your EZ Link card but the reader doesn’t make that irritating beep sound- You wonder why...

Then you realize stupidity act number 2 in just a matter of minutes from the first; you look down at what you're holding... You’ve just scanned the card reader with your handphone.

I think I need to go for a bloody brain scan to check if I even have one!

2008-01-19T18:54:00.000+08:00

Is it just me, or have you guys also experienced the same plight that happens on an almost daily basis?

Its like, every time I see a person waving at someone, I’ll have the tendency of wanting to wave back..I’ll be halfway putting my hand up, reciprocating that wave until my brain function finally kicks in telling me, “Eh retard, you’re not supposed to wave back!”..

No, the wave wasnt meant for me.. And yes, there have been a couple of times when my brain sensory acted rather slowly, resulting in me waving back.

So bloody embarrassing!

2008-01-04T18:36:00.000+08:00

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..."

- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

- If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

- If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

- If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

- If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

- If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

- If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

- If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.

- If you are a blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Taken off my friend's Facebook.

This had me up in stitches. I hope it will do the same to you.
Have an enjoyable weekend, folks!

2008-01-01T19:28:00.000+08:00

It's funny cause 2007 just feels like yesterday.
Doesn't it....?

School is freaking commencing tomorrow and the only thing i look forward to are the new PAE batch of hottie babes(ROFL i hope there are. Last year we had the girl from I Not Stupid who went on to become our school belle =D) and yeah; Joseph's attempt at trying to crash my school's orientation with two girl-friends of his.

Pimpin'

That's supposed to be kept secret by the way.

I'm in the mood for some racist jokes after catching the video off SamG's blog.
It's insanely hilarious, I guarantee..
But no way am I going to post an embedded player along with the entry.
The good ol' hyperlink would suffice.

Achmed the Dead Terrorist

And I'll let it fester; your curiosity will eat at you- like a niggling ailment. Very soon you would find yourself engaging in some Mouse-xercise. Yes, a new term coined by yours truly.

I'm pleased with my recent blog post (dated: December 28th, 2007) and I surmise that readers are too.. judging from the few smses I received. Perhaps they like my frankness and style of writing..?

But keep them coming! I welcome comments especially when I'm beginning on a secret book for my future erm, wifey. Unfortunately I have been imbued with the pervasive Hollywood romanticisim ideal/notion/attitude.. Ha, so I thought a compilation of love stories written by me would be a nice engagement gift?

Not too young, Mum! Your boy's already 18 and ~~fully~~ grown!

2007-12-28T18:55:00.000+08:00

I guess as teenagers (and probably for the rest of our lives), one very important thing we all need are friends. But having said that, its also essential to be able to identify the qualities of a true friend.. based on a simple theory that if we know what we are looking for in a friend, we’ll probably face fewer disappointments.

What do I mean? Well, sub-consciously, all of us have different perceptions and qualities we expect in a good friend. We tend to click better with people who share our point of views, our interests, our values...

But before we judge people with our expectations, we’ve gotta be honest with ourselves and ask if we even possess these qualities we want in our friends? You’re just being a hypocrite if you demand someone else to live up to your expectations that you so evidently lack..

Some people are fair-weather friends. They are there when all is well and will desert you when trouble brews. Others hang out with you simply because they want something.. It could be your popularity that helps them share the limelight or your wealth, position, talent?

The worst of the lot would be the backstabbers. The ones who use your ideas and pass it off as their own.. the people who get all chummy when you’re around but bitches about you the minute you leave the room..

Rich people always find it easier to make “friends”, but the wise among them know that many of their so-called friends are merely using them. I reckon many famous socially prominent people are often sad because deep down they know they are surrounded by users who’d dump them when they lose their position.

True friendship should never be based on externals like money, looks and position.. all of these can so easily be lost. True friends value qualities that are precious and don’t diminish with the passing of time..

When you look at websites such as Friendster, MySpace, Facebook or whatever social networking website.. you discover the astonishment of how some people seem to have over 500 ‘friends’.. its like some popularity game. But seriously, what the point of aiming to have that many friends..?

You’ve gotta ask yourself if you even know half of those people? Others would almost certainly fall into the category of acquaintances. If you’re able to identify just 2 genuine good friends you know, that’s already a blessing!

Friendship’s not about the quantity but the quality..

The most cherished gift you can have and give someone.. is a sincere friendship. Friendship which I’ve discovered by the way.. is a two-way process. One cannot do all the taking and expect others to just keep giving.. a fact which reflects negatively on me.

I am in the process of learning to be a friend.. One who’d be able to care and share, someone who’d be willing to listen, to sympathize and empathize with others, to be there for another in good and especially bad times, to have the courage to stand by my friends and protect them from the unkindness of others.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A,
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year
But.. I'll be there for you (When the rain starts to fall)
I'll be there for you (Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
'Cos you're there for me too...

---F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme tune---

2007-12-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

Youth Camp '07 was wayyy fun! But I shan't drown all of you in details. At least not yet...

Anyway I do hope that - unlike the previous times in the days after past youth camps - the burning passion in me would never get extinguished/ snuffed out/ put out/ doused & et cetera. I feel that something so powerful & so real is about to happen in my life, and I want to see it come to pass.

Wish me luck and pray for me as I begin my quest to resist the flesh and feed my spirit.
First up, doing devotions.

Ah... Like how Nicwong always remind us: Have you done your QT yet?

2007-11-27T18:56:00.000+08:00

So many things happening right smack in the week before Youth Camp '07! WOOOOOOOO!!
Coincidence? I think not...

Much as I'd love to give my 2 cents worth on the situation- I can't help but to be reminded that I am only a hapless by-stander.
(By-stander yes, hapless...? ROFL! Better not; lest i open another can of worms)
Touchy, touchy situation. Yikes.

Hence, all I feel I ought to do -at this moment in time- is to leave you guys with a quote from a powerful lady of the past; she was the first woman to serve as British Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990.

Where there is discord, may we bring harmony. Where there is error, may we bring truth. Where there is doubt, may we bring faith. And where there is despair, may we bring hope- Margaret Thatcher

Seriously, THINK. Before you even proceed to open that gaping hole in your face.

2007-11-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

Echoes,

Silence,

Patience and Grace

this is a sign of things to come

2007-11-16T12:23:00.000+08:00

I hereby, solemnly vow to die a sexy death.

But not anytime soon i hope..
Not when I have fast food for every break time and as well as supper when I get home every night.
Yup, I'm trying my very best to "Super Size Me" (For folks whose General Knowledge counter registers a negative value; I have very graciously embedded a Wikipedia link. Go ahead, click it.)

We'll see how it goes, okay?

2007-11-07T10:10:00.000+08:00

It is exceptionally heartening to see several folks like Melissa, Mabel and Joel rallied around Serene. Just as how Singaporeans; young and old alike- Netizens or not, screamed cold murder at the 3 British buffoons who poked fun at the elderly trishaw rider. "Poked fun at" would be too mild a phrase to describe the their misdeeds(BUT I DON'T BLOODY HAVE TIME TO GO IN DEPTH =D).

Nonetheless, this two -however unalike they may be-- incidents have made me feel the warmth. And that, society still cares after all.

hey emo, whoever or whatever you are..
Your below the belt taunt of my friend Serene reeks of Cretinism, which could probably be characterised by the following:

- dwarfed stature.
- mental retardation.
- lack of intellect/ or sensitivity

So, be gone you obtuse hobbit!
Run.. And never to be seen again!

Ok. Time isn't exactly on my side. I have work at 11.45am and I have yet to shower!
Let's just hope this post will suffice. And yes i do expect some flaming or other despicable means of getting back at me.

/flameshield on
Safety is paramount. Hehe

2007-10-09T15:30:00.000+08:00

It's rather humbling to hear from another person's perspective..

Taxi drivers are part and parcel of our daily lives. There is a demand for quick travel and they are there to supply us with this service. No matter the country, this job will always exist. Some might deem it as a lowly paid job. I see it as a job that encompasses so much more than that..

Taxi drivers... They are the ambassadors of our nations for embarking tourists. They are at our helm with the wave of our hand. They don't save lives or significantly change us but they are here to show us the way.

I wish the cab driver that I conversed with won the Senior Citizen award.

It being a long journey, it was more than idyllic chat as we talked about the education system, the economy, the population decline, maternity leave, threat of other nations on Singapore's territory, the job industry..
I can engage in MATURE conversations okay!

I shared my views as he shared his. I knew I was endangering my life, with him concentrating on his driving (which was unnervingly fast) and with the chat we were having. The journey was swift and brief but I got so much more from there. He gave me a piece of advice.. a quote to face the future..

"Study your best, expect the worst"

As much as you and I can study very hard now, whether any employer would employ us, is a totally different ball game. Educational qualifications matter only that much. And being a natural pessimist, I believe in Murphy's Law. I’ll never place myself too high and risk getting knocked down with one single blow from the government.

Hmm, maybe I ought to be a taxi driver!
~~if i dont have a school to attend by the end of this year~~

2007-09-26T21:13:00.000+08:00

I think Serene Siau Hui Hong!! exhibits maturity wayyy beyond her age.
Yes, no doubt she can be overtly dramatic at times.
But then again... aren't most girls like that?

I'm blogging this not because she forced me to. But partly due to me wanting to fulfill my quota for the month. Hehe...

What transpired during our instant messaging conversation was this one thing she offered.
One that hit me straight in the face. It definitely made me sit up and ponder.. Even till now as i'm typing this.

Sometimes wanting to win might override the importance of having a relationship with God!
- Serene Siau Hui Hong!!

I am not afraid to admit that i take losing very badly. I am a SORE loser.
Pride gets in the way and I don't like to be taken lightly; definitely not belittled.
How so?

Let's leave that for another post, another time.

What's that in your closet?

2007-09-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in your quiet moments, as you sit and reminisce... the ghosts of yesterday comes back to haunt you.
Incidents you don’t want to remember, happenings you wish never did occur the way it did.

Everyone has skeletons in their closets.

We gather them along as we live life. And there’ll be times all you want to do is sweep them under the carpet and leave it there forever.
From heart-wrenching memories to embarrassing moments, these specters of memories randomly float around our head at odd moments when we least expect it..

I do get that sometimes, a lot of times..
I’ve made mistakes that would make me cringe whenever I think about it. And they always seem to flashback in spastic moments.
Some of which are cherished memories, while others I dread and am deeply ashamed about.

But I guess it's only wise to just lift our heads high from the gloom that dooms us..

And look ahead towards a better horizon out there.
There’s no point harping on the past and letting it obstruct our path towards a brighter future.

Falling down doesn’t make you a failure- Staying down does.
We cant turn back time to undo our wrongs but we can make our life ahead worthwhile.

Because really... Life can only be understood looking backwards but it must be lived looking forward.
So whatever problems you’re facing, remember to be strong & smile.
And you would come out triumphant!

Yet another random blog posting...

2007-09-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

Dreams.

It just sweeps me how vividly illusive dreams can be sometimes. It robs your sleep and replaces it with images that you've long stopped believing. Ideas that are obviously fantastical, yet occurring...

You wouldn't have to think twice to realize that sooner or later, it would all end with you waking up. Prematurely realizing it's a dream takes away the fun of it, as well as makes you feel mortal. The knowledge of not being able to die - it makes you willfully ignorant

Some people believe that dreams are a sign of things to come, while others conceive it as the portal for a deceased member to communicate with the living. Scientists say it’s just your brain working overtime while your physical body ‘shuts down’.

It’s quite fascinating though. Dreams are so unpredictable and so real; they practically put Hollywood blockbusters to shame. But then again, our dreams probably materialized from what we experience and see everyday.

People say that dreams do come true...

I hope I can be the one saying that one day. My most recent dream was weird... But I woke up feeling different after that. In it, I fell in love with someone. A ‘someone’ that I do know a ‘someone’ that has always been a close friend of mine (Girl of course!)

Scary.